Taking a break from work and camp.

Been having difficulties adapting to my new working environment in camp, be it changes in our PC, our new shift, our "familiar yet distanced" spec, our new mates from sembawang. Everything is back to being square one, and I can't accept this foreign intrusion.

Gone are the days back in camp. I never doubted that this day will arrive eventually, that someday everything and everyone will return back to where they came from and I'll have to start all over agin. But I didn't expect it to end like this.

Probably going to serve the remaining days without any anticipation of the future, like a body without a soul. Unless there can be something that I can look forward to.

Wouldn't be back to camp until next tue, so I'm looking around for activities to do these days, so I'll be extremely free till then.

Spent a few days at my grandma's house, with the usual programmes like playing mahjong with my six-year old niece, watching pokemon vcds (pardon this childishness, I can't find anything else), reading the entire series of Death-note comics (in preparation for the upcoming movie) as well as going swimming.

People often complained that I think too much, which I guess it's a cancerian trait. Somehow I can't remember a time when my mind is completely empty. That is what I'm setting out to achieve. I have to convince myself umpteen times that there is no point thinking too much, sometimes its better to just go with the flow.

This shall be my target for now.

To keep my mind calm and open. (perhaps it can cure this insomanic in me)

Been a long time since I wrote such a lengthy post. keep the inspirations flowing in. For now, I'll be off reading Freud's Interpretation of Dreams. Hopefully I can be happily asleep and dream a fantastic dream...

Mutiny - refusal to obey orders and/or a violent attempt to take control from people in authority, esp. in a military situation or on a ship.


oh... so this is what it means...

I must find something to do.

I can't possibly stay at home everytime I dismount. It's almost like wasting precious moments of my life. Other than usual routine (sleep, watch tv, sleep, play neopets, sleep, watch one piece anime, sleep, next day, go library, sleep, watch tv, sleep) , I have to find something meaningful to fill my empty life with. I cannot allow such things to taint my not-so-vibrant lifestyle.

Blame it on my social circle then. Everyone has their own social circle, where's mine?

I know I don't know how to make friends (for god sake, yes), which eventually made me a loner. I long for companionship, but I'm forever pessimisitic about making the first step.
When will I ever be able to amass the courage I need?
Will this term "self-confidence" elude me once again?

Inferiority Complex. when will you get out of my life?