Annoyed. Irritated. Displeased. Exasperated. Infuriated. Crossed. Jaundiced. Offended. Troubled. Piqued.

These are probably the words to describe what i'm feeling right now. Extremely annoyed by the fact that i actually had to wait for more than an hour for the stupid bus to get back home, even though the sign wrote "off-peak waiting time approximately 20 mins".

Impatient I may be, this wait is somewhat unreasonable. This particular bus I have been waiting for appears to be a loop service, but the time it took to arrive from the opposite stop is so much longer. What's worst is the fact that the bus actually went off without stopping though I raised my hands out long before it reached the stop. Plain unlucky. Almost fell asleep waiting, like a beggar on the streets.

Killed my blogging mood for the day. Wanted so much to tell everyone how addicted to mahjong my family members are. This passion for mahjong lies in our genes. Afterall, the ones i played mahjong with are my grandma and younger cousins. The one with the most potential appears to be my younger niece, who is just 5 years old.

My cousins playing blackjack, my uncles scanning the 4D tickets, my aunts talking about soccer, my grandma playing mahjong. Ironic it is, because we often advocate "non-gambling" and here we are doing everything that goes against it.

Didn't have plans to do for the past one week and thus no new entries.

Soporific lifestyle remains the main theme for the month. Ever since the new standby schedule is up, there hasn't been much free time outside of camp for me to organise activities that may prove worthwhile. Most of the time is spent indoors, either sleeping or staring into blank space, contemplating.

These days i'm wondering whether to start something different, to embark on a new pursuit that could be interactive and intellectual. But somehow, i can't devise a hobby that could use up lots of time and effort, can be done indoors, improves a certain skills that i have. Or perhaps i already had something in mind, only fearful that i don't have the confidence to see it till the end.

Time is slowly ticking, and i better be decisive soon...

And it's the time of the year that everyone's waiting for, The World Cup (except for the occurence of the leap year which falls on the same schedule). 4 years of euphoria, disappointments, winning streaks and unexpected upsets is up for grabs once again. Will this year belong to Brazil once again? or will favourites, England, Germany, Argentina, Spain overturn the odds and triumph at the football's greatest stage?

Everyone awaits in anticipation.

Are there times when you felt a generation gap with your parents?

Well, I did.

It seems weird that there could be times like these that makes you feel as though you and your parents belong to dfifferent worlds. Usually I would be able to understand my parent's intentions in doing something, but i don't know what happened this time round. It wasn't a heated argument, merely a philosophical discussion of the alternative viewpoints to a problem. Sometimes i just don't know what's going on in their mind. It's either i'm too idealistic and immatured to know the complexities of this world, or their perspectives of ideas are too traditional and outdated. But i opt for the latter.

Looking at the arguments between my younger siblings and my parents made me wonder about this unsolved question. Most of the time, i tend to stay neutral and seek to understand the problem, and solutions came. Gradually, I began to formulate reasons why these problems occur. So much so that even my younger siblings say that i have a generation gap with them.

3 years age difference and there's a generation gap? Unlikely, but still possible.

Is it true that the generation gap occur because of differences in age? Or rather differences in ideology, culture, living environment, education etc. I want to know more, which means i need to have more "educational" interaction with my parents.

I'll see that it doesn't escalate out of control.

The consequences of overshopping has finally hit me, and quite hard this time round.

Despite exceeding the monthly budget, i was out again (with old pals, penghui and weelun) to orchard to see what it's like to shop during the GSS. Armed with only $10 in my wallet, i thought i would be safe from all the temptations all around me, but i was so wrong. The atm card was still "accidentally" left in my pocket. I should have expected this kind of situation and set up the proper defenses against this rising feeling of uncontrolled spurging, but i didn't.

No one to be blamed for this, it's all my fault. I was the very own transgressor of the boundaries i set for myself. I told myself umpteen times that i spent too much, and my "stingy" behaviour should have stopped me, but i didn't cared less.

Money gone just like that.

Little wonder my mother always say, "the money you earned in a year could be spend in just a day." How true.

I ought to curb myself from spending unneccessarily again. which means no more changi v for the next few weeks. My intuition tells me this will be yet another futile session, but nevertheless i hope it works.

And this time round, i'm leaving my atm card in my drawer, for good.

reading boon kian's entry on Love, Desire and Attachment, i ought have more control over impulsive buying, but it doesn't seem to work.

according to the entry, attachment never work for 4 reasons. (taken from boon kian's site)

1.The object of desire cannot sustain the present experience. It is ephemeral. We are actually after permanent happiness, which the object of craving cannot fulfil.
2. If we rely upon everything in accordance with our wishes, our merit declines, and soon our ability to enjoy other objects declines. E.g. becomes poorer and perhaps unable even to buy necessary items

3.The object is impermanent. It is constantly changing. When we develop desire for an object, we take a freeze frame of the object. We expect it to stay the same forever. We look for perfection in it and more often than not, it doesn't live up to the expectations we ourselves generated. We thus feel disappointed all the time.

4.The object is empty. All the good qualities we perceive of it does not come from the object itself but from our minds. We're fooled by its appearance and will not know that until we realise emptiness.

despite reading this article, i still couldn't resist the temptation and bought...Zen Vision:M from the PC show at suntec city. and it proves 1 thing, what you preach may not be what you practise...

i should reflect on my actions...