In the past, I was an idealist. I always had this firm belief that the world could be a better place and that it wasn't so bad after all. I still perceive this as true. But it seemed that I am much more realistic now. There are indeed many things that lies outside my control and intellect.
Life was all about studying for the good grades in the past. Education was a tool to break out of the current circumstances to a better future. That belief spurred me. I worked hard, but there will always someone else even better. So when will this constant pursuit for higher education end?
Perhaps the most shocking truth I have realized this year was that after all these years of studying, I couldn't get a job. I was fortunate to find one ultimately, but this journey was mentally exhausting. This was not because I had to spend a lot of time thinking of how to write my resumes, prepare for interviews etc, but rather the cognitive dissonance that education is the key to a secure job. That was hard to resolve.
In the previous posts, I wrote that I found a job based on my experiences in my CCA rather than the course itself. That was a strike to the core. Perhaps reality had finally struck. Without good grades, its not easy to land a job you like. It's not the fault of anyone or society. There are too many people competing for the same coveted position, so there must be someway of selection. It so appears that qualifications is one such key. But what about all those less academically-inclined? Are they less worthy of such opportunities too?
This is not a sign of pessimism. I still have confidence in my own abilities but I am more grounded in reality now. But I am concerned for the many facing such problems out there. Yet, I don't have the power to do much (or do I?).
With this realization, I have grown a little more this year. It's a part of self-discovery that I am grateful for.
Happy 2012.
