Late night chats with the supper gang brought some back unexpected results on my own thoughts. Now I'm experiencing cognitive dissonance. arghh...

All along I always thought I have found my meaning in life - to write and publish a book, till today when I was proven wrong.

I have been reflecting about the purpose of my existence, and these thoughts have constantly built on each other to achieve what it is today. Just when I thought I have found it, it turns out that everything is just a false reality.

"What if writing is not your purpose in life, but rather a goal? You think that it is meaning because it is something that you might not achieve in the end, it's an abstract concept. For example, you think that the book you write is going to be the purpose, it might take you a lifetime to write it. However, if you can write it in 2 years, what is going to happen after that?"

Come to think of it, it is indeed true. The purpose that I seek should well be beyond just superficial goals. So what is it about writing that I seek? How should writing become a purpose of my life?

I guess its time for me to reflect and get a clearer picture.