If you noticed a friend missing on fb, don't worry its me.

I'm taking a hiatus. Will be back when the time is right (after the submission) =)

46 more days to go and I'm still stuck with the second study. Omg I'm going crazy!

Someone please help this poor soul out!

I don't know how many others feel the same way, but right now I am extremely unsure of what lies ahead after graduation.

For the past 10 years, my only goal in life was to reach university. Now that I have successfully completed this milestone, it is time to set a new goal. But where should I venture?

I know I have to look for a job to repay back the bank loan, but what kind of job should I be looking for? Should I look slowly and find the job that fits me best, or should I just find any job that I have reasonable interest and just mould my expectations to the situation?

I need to reflect once more.

The vicious cycle of criticism

On one hand, we lament the lack of creativity in Singapore, yet on the other, we complain about the stupid things Singaporeans can come up with. For instance, someone comes up with a new concept (like developing battery-powered bicycles to replace cars), there will be others who will criticize the idea (saying its stupid; its wasting more money; might as well reduce the numbers of cars/increase roads, go think of how to increase the employment rate instead.. blah blah etc).

While it is true that criticism does helped to improve the final design (sometimes), no one seemed to understand its negative effects. To get someone to even try to do something different is already a difficult thing. When someone finally drums up the courage to do something, he gets this sort of criticism. Its not easy to stand up to criticism all the time. Especially in collectivist societies, where "face" is an important element to social status.

This creates a sort of disincentive for individuals to pursue their dreams for fear that it may be stupid. After all, the creator himself will never know whether it is feasible until he tries it out. But this pervasive fear of "standing out from the crowd" may poses barriers to entry for those who are really passionate.

The effects are not just limited to the creators. "Potential ideas" may be lost due to the fear of being labelled as "another attention-seeking attempt". Then no one will dare to do something different (that may prove to be something useful in the future). So who loses out in the end? Probably everyone.

So how do we get out of it?

Honestly I have no idea as well. There are a few options though.

1) people become more resilient to criticism/failures,
2) don't criticise (or rather positive criticism)

The 1st option is probably hard, considering that "face" has been researched by psychologists as being part of our cultural distinction. To ask a Chinese to do something that might potentially lose "face" is probably not easy.

Option 2 will require the support of the majority of the population. Personally, this is equally hard, considering that Singaporeans are known for being "complainers". Phrases like "This thing not good, that thing can be improved" probably sounds familiar to all of us. To ask everyone to support "creative attempts" is akin to asking one to take a plunge outside the comfort zone. Not everyone is going to do it in the end.

Promoting creativity

The culture must be changed. Not many people dare to risk being different. But when they do, what they really wished would be some support to give them the confidence to carry on. And I think that is what we really need.

An environment that is not so critical of the things people do.

But that does not mean no criticism at all is good. Positive criticism works so much better than saying things like "this kind of student deserve to lose his job to FT; this is probably the most stupid idea; I can't imagine our world-class university nurtures people like this."

Just like the million social issues we have around the world, this is not going to be easily resolved. People can't change overnight. So I guess its going to take sometime before our society does change.

Till that time, good luck to all the "potential creators" =)

I just found out I forgot to do my year end review! As per tradition, here is a brief recap of my year in 2010.

Jan - Inspirations for the sunflower stories emerged and the meaning of being happy.

Feb - An emotional month when we failed to achieve 4x champions as well as reflections on the existence of "groups".

Mar - Learnt the art of dealing with people. Not as easy as Spelling Bees.

Apr - What does it mean to succeed? With some push from Homer, of course.

May - A period to think of my future. Another leap of faith into grassroots work with PAYL2010.

Jun - The official start of my thesis journey, and a fun time at OBS with PAYL training.

Jul - Good memories with Project Excellence Camp 2 and Windsurf Camp 5. I also had a peek view of the violent nature of Singaporean parents.

Aug - The awesome 25knots wind (p.s a swollen leg in return).

Sep - What will the future holds for us? I still don't have an answer now.

Oct - The month of spreading the art of celebration to others =)

Nov - Is this a sign that there is a social activist in the making??

Dec - Reflections over the past 6 months of thesis journey. It has been worthwhile after all.

The resolution in 2010 was to accept my own flaws and become a better person. I'm not sure if I have really done that. But I could feel that I have more courage to pursue the things that I want now. I will dedicate the coming year to achieving my fullest potential in my final semester.

Happy 2011.

Last 85 days to go!

My prof told me that we can try to get the paper published in a journal. But that will require me to do another experiment (which means I have to conduct 3 studies instead of the 2 for my thesis). Looking at the very tight deadline, it seemed almost impossible but I will try my best.

Otherwise, I might be staying back in school for one more semester (not as a student though) to complete this. Should I stay for another semester?

Why I did it

For those that don't know about it yet, I recently started this "Eat Alone" Campaign on FB.

Honestly, this is my first time doing this kind of stuff (i.e. public event). I have to admit that it is not easy. I still remembered the first time I explained my idea to the rest of my friends, most of them gave me the "huh", "you're joking", "total waste of time lah".

Is the idea really that strange? I wondered then. But nevertheless, I went ahead. It's not because I have nothing better to do, or I am just trying to be cheeky. I still have a 15MC Honours Thesis to do. I could have spent my time constructively on that. Or even go out with my friends, go play some sports or do my regular volunteering. I had to sacrifice sleep for this. So I'm pretty serious about this.

I did it because I felt it has to be addressed. It is really true that I heard so many stories about people not eating because they are embarrassed to be seen eating alone. There is this negative stereotype about these "loners/anti-socialists". If it was some other campaign, like "Why can't we SU our own faculty modules" I am guess I will do the same. But I wonder whether I will get the same response.

So I supposed that it is the severity of the issue presented here. Apparently, either this social stigma is not important, or people are not at least bothered by it. So as the curious individual, I will question why is this the case. Is it because people are ignorant or refuse to admit it?

Are Singaporeans really so conformists? It's not like I'm anti-establishment or something. What I want is to raise the awareness. As university graduates, if we do not question, how are we ever going to improve? It disappoints me a lot when I received such negative comments, but I guess nothing comes easy if you are the pioneer.

Our kind intentions appeared to be disruptive to others. Very strange. Perhaps I should go study this perceptual issue for my post-grad research next time.

Nevertheless, thanks to all the supporters! Really appreciate everything. Yes. I admit that I am an idealist. I really hope the world can be a better place. It is very hard to change some deep-ingrained mindsets but I am willing to try. This world doesn't just belong to the pragmatists. If I think what I am doing is right, I will follow through all the way =)

I was at the NUS Windsurf December Training Camp 2010. This time, I was quite amazed by the goodie bag. There was a lot of useful stuff for people who windsurf quite often (or exposed to the sun for prolonged periods).

One of the thing I am going to post is the Sunplay's SPF 130. I'm impressed that the organizers managed to get this item considering that sunblocks doesn't come cheap. I really hope they can get it again for their upcoming July Camp!

Nevertheless, the sunblock was great! 130 is definitely more than the average and offers longer protection. The design was fantastic, small and easily packed for convenience. When I applied it to my skin the texture was smooth, not very sticky (or oily) unlike other brands. That is something that I liked best. It was easy to apply as well and gets absorbed by the skin pretty quickly.

Definitely recommend it to my fellow windsurfers! =)

Reflections of a Thesis Student

As I sit in the lab now, reflecting on what came over me to want to embark on this ardous journey, I suddenly realised how far I have come since then.

Right from the month of April, I had first started looking for supervisors (and plentiful rejections of course). It was really tough convincing others to take you in. You do so much research and ended up the prof can't take you in. It almost seemed like a waste of time, considering that you should be studying for the exams that will determine your fate to get into Honours. But in retrospect, I learnt the importance of being proactive. No one will tell you what to do, you have to do it yourself.

Flashback to the month of May/June, I was still looking for potential supervisors. Not that there wasn't any available prof, but blame it on my insistence. I didn't want to do a topic that I didn't have interest in (abnormal, cog, developmental etc). To me, it was a tough decision to stick to my plans (which could ultimately fail) but I did it anyway. It was as though some higher-being finally took pity and I finally found one. It was immense joy, but short-lived for I know there was a long way ahead.

Things didn't turn up too well in July,/Aug, because my supervisor was constantly away for conferences. No advice or guidelines to follow. In the end, I had to "find my way in the dark". Constantly tweaking and refining (which I believed everyone else was like that too). But oh well, that tough period was over. Especially when you are still taking special semester and cca.

September/October passed by like a flash, when I was still tweaking the proposals, experimental designs and grants (yes I applied but didn't get in the end). The feeling was like fighting a war with no ammunition. Totally sucks. Its even worse when you hear stories of how others have finished collecting their samples and you barely started. Near the end of October was disaster week (for those that know). Thesis was in the laptop, laptop spoilt. Fortunately I did a backup in my external harddisk. Unfortunately that harddisk spoilt too =(

From October to November, it was mad rush to recovery. Had to redo the lit review (based on memory power) as well as the data collection. It was also this period that I learn the value of friendship. So many people have supported me along the way. No man is an island indeed. Thank you all.

Now to the present moment, I am still surviving this period, doing data collection. Things are equally bad now, and I expect it to last all the way till graduation.

But one thing is for sure, this is too important to fail now. Regardless of what happen, I await the 4th April 2011.

It's the holidays. But it also means 116 days left to doomsday.

Nevertheless, I ought to enjoy my very last holiday before I graduate.

"I want to be a survivor.
And I know I will be."

The same verse kept resounding in my mind these days.

Celebrations

The art of celebration requires some skill.

But I don't mean that people don't know how to celebrate. It's quite common sense that if you experience some happy occassion, you will sense joy and some positive arousal that you want to share with others. I believe that everyone knows how to do this (hopefully).

Today I want to reflect about some other form of celebration. It is the art of celebrating "small success". This is something that not many people would know or practice. After all in this society, everything is about BIG Success. Having a good promotion, a new house, car, 5As for their examinations etc.

Very rarely do you hear people celebrate things like "Yay I met a new friend today, I finally got C+ instead of the usual C, or something like that." This is a question I have been wondering for some time. Why don't people celebrate these things?

It is still an improvement from the usual outcomes and we should celebrate them like how we celebrate other successes. But apparently to most people, it is not deemed significant enough to call for a party. I'm not exactly sure the reason, but I guess maybe people are not contented with what they have? or they expected somemore? or they just don't even bother?

I shall not comment about the rest of the people. But to me, good things don't happen all the time. Haha. I had so many hopes and dreams dashed in my 24 years of life. If I didn't learn this skill earlier, there might not have been anything significant that is worth celebrating at all. I could have very well sunk into a depression when I couldn't get this or that.

But those stories are true. I used to be like many others, wishing to have only the best. But after failing so many times, one night I just got "enlightened" (for a lack of a better word) and decided there should be more to life. Since then, I could feel a permanent change in me.

It's not that I no longer want the best for myself. I will strive to be the best I can be. But now, I no longer get affected as much when I fail. Failure has become an integral part of me, that I learnt to celebrate anything positive in my life, be it a big or small success. Things could have gotten worse but it didn't and this deserved some form of recognition as well.

For example, I looked back at how things would have been different if I have taken a different course in JC, or if I had studied harder to make it to triple science class, or if my family business didn't fail . The old me would be so full of regrets. But this new me is no longer very affected by these failures. Instead I see opportunity to seek out a new path that I didn't thought I would take maybe 10 years ago.

Life is no longer the same as before. Since we cannot predict with certainty what is going to happen in the future, it might be good to celebrate every success in life. For it could very well be the last one.

So treasure this moment. Celebrate.

I'm dying from psychometrics! =(

Somehow I didn't find it strange that I haven't blog for an entire month.

While there are many things that has occurred throughout this period, I seem less inclined to want to talk about it anymore. Which is weird since this is what this blog is all about.

Probably the most significant events that had occurred during my blogging hiatus would be the Sports Club NEXUS 2010 as well as the YouthsLead "Know Thy Neighbor" Project.

Don't really feel much like blogging, so I will keep these two events for next time. Today I will blog more about my ongoing thoughts.

"I guess I am now at the crossroads once again, and it's just like all the other ones I have encountered so far for the past 24 years. Yet somehow this time round it feels different. I'm not exactly sure of the cause. After all, I have already made so many decisions in life.

Watching the news reporting the death of Mrs Lee & Dr Balaji made me very emotional,however its not because I know them personally. In fact, I have only heard their names once in a while on TV. But I wondered why they are so willing to sacrifice their time and effort for society. Especially the case of Dr Balaji, who was battling cancer and yet continues to report for work. What is the energy that sustain this?

They could have retired and enjoyed their remaining lives, but why did they choose to contribute to a society that sometimes doesn't even appreciate their effort? Its the same case for LKY or any other politicians. They could have very well looked for a private sector job and earned a comparable, if not higher salary. From an economics point of view, I just don't understand why they will pick a harder path to go.

I don't have an answer to it. Yet somehow I get inspired by their stories that I wished I could be like them too. It's not because of the the pay because ultimately its hard to match up to the private sector in the long run. It's also not because of the recognition because I have seen and experienced what it is like to do grassroots work as well. More often than not, these people sacrifice their time/effort and end up with criticism and complains.

Why did they still do it in the end? I prefer to think that it's a calling. It is the realization that there is something larger than your own existence. Something that will ultimately outlive you.

What then will be my life project?

I guess I will just have to continue thinking."

p.s this Thursday is Full Colors Award . Hopefully can get Best Water Club too.

As I read this article "when is the last leaf falling?"

I can't stop but feel a sense of sadness and apprehension. What will the future hold for us?

Today was a pleasant session at PE.

As teacher's day is approaching, Simon told the class to make a card for their respective teachers in PE. I think this is a wonderful idea. Not that I want to preach the noble acts of teachers but I truly think they deserve every bit for their effort all this while.

It's good to inculcate a value of appreciation in our kids today. Remember my sunflower post? Appreciating what others have done for you can go a long way, even if the act is very small by itself. The world would be a much better place if people can start focusing on appreciating, not criticizing.

The card I saw today is one such example. It totally surprised me that the student that used to create the most problems in class actually did an appreciation card for us volunteers as well. Speechless but very much happy inside.

Sure brightened up my day today! =)

Congrats to Audrey Yong for winning Bronze in the Windsurfing Category in YOG!

Let's hope this success can spur more interest in the local windsurfing scene =)

arghh... I feel like windsurfing now.

YOG begins tomorrow!

Raise your hand for our generation

Fly the flags of every nation

Reaching out for that moment in our lives

Raise your hand for our generation

Living out your aspirations

Time to fly way beyond the skies

It's time to be inspired by the cheers of success, the tears of disappointment, the dreams of the every athletes, and the hopes of our generation =)

This is our time to shine.

Today's PE session was all about National Day.

We started by watching some videos of Singapore in the past and did up a poster which messages that we would like to dedicate to the country. While we were drawing the posters, national day songs like "We are Singapore", "Count on Me Singapore" , "Home" etc was playing very loudly in the background. We ended up singing the songs while doing our work. Haha

The kids are super enthusiastic about the songs that they kept requesting for YOG songs as well. I heard the "Everytime" song for like 3-4 times. It's also super interesting to end off the session with the national anthem as well.

Can't believe I have been absent for more than a month from PE. It feels good to be back =)

Just when I thought I could enjoy my one and only week of holiday, I ended up with a swollen leg.

But at least I got to experience the 25 knots wind at east coast before I got swept away by the huge waves. Even if it is for less than 5 mins.

Fortunately no fracture or broken bones, otherwise I doubt this challenging attempt to conquer the waves is worth it.