Another one of those rare event-packed days.

Swimming was the first activity of our itinerary. Unlike other days where I would go swim alone, penghui was present ths time round. With some companionship, we ended up spending more time soaking ourselves in the water, chit chatting as always, rather than swim laps.

Made a trip down to the old interchange near to the causeway, a place where I used to visit often when I followed my parents on their delievery trips. Penghui will be away for his overseas stint tomorrow, he had to change his currency to thai baht. Despite numerous money changing outlets there (which we thought we might have a better rate since it's a monopolistic competitive area), most of them did not have that currency. Wonder why?

Playing pool was another item off the list while we await for time to past for the sushi buffet. Not much practice caused my consecutive defeats to penghui, whose form is exceptional today. Ended up playing for an hour before we left for some sightseeing at Lot 1.

The next 3 hours was competitive eating, as we tried to outdo each other in eating the most number of plates. He tried to chiong through his first 10 plates within the first 15 mins while I ate leisurely at my own pace. It was a draw at the end.

There is no other way to end a day without heading for the library@ woodlands. Of course, this time round we were not there to read, chit-chat or walk around, but sat down at the music section listening to j-pop and read design magazines.

He will be off tomorrow night. Have a safe journey and meet for "Death-Note" movie next next week.

Everytime I logged in for a update of my life, I get stuck. Pondering over what programmes I had, activities I did, friends I met doesn't seems to appeal very much to me. Especially when you can't even remember the things you did the day before.

So when I finally have time to blog, the thoughts and feelings of each particular event of my life fades, leaving only vague memories.

These thoughts are an important part of a life which I never knew I had. I don't want to lose it anymore...

Taking a break from work and camp.

Been having difficulties adapting to my new working environment in camp, be it changes in our PC, our new shift, our "familiar yet distanced" spec, our new mates from sembawang. Everything is back to being square one, and I can't accept this foreign intrusion.

Gone are the days back in camp. I never doubted that this day will arrive eventually, that someday everything and everyone will return back to where they came from and I'll have to start all over agin. But I didn't expect it to end like this.

Probably going to serve the remaining days without any anticipation of the future, like a body without a soul. Unless there can be something that I can look forward to.

Wouldn't be back to camp until next tue, so I'm looking around for activities to do these days, so I'll be extremely free till then.

Spent a few days at my grandma's house, with the usual programmes like playing mahjong with my six-year old niece, watching pokemon vcds (pardon this childishness, I can't find anything else), reading the entire series of Death-note comics (in preparation for the upcoming movie) as well as going swimming.

People often complained that I think too much, which I guess it's a cancerian trait. Somehow I can't remember a time when my mind is completely empty. That is what I'm setting out to achieve. I have to convince myself umpteen times that there is no point thinking too much, sometimes its better to just go with the flow.

This shall be my target for now.

To keep my mind calm and open. (perhaps it can cure this insomanic in me)

Been a long time since I wrote such a lengthy post. keep the inspirations flowing in. For now, I'll be off reading Freud's Interpretation of Dreams. Hopefully I can be happily asleep and dream a fantastic dream...

Mutiny - refusal to obey orders and/or a violent attempt to take control from people in authority, esp. in a military situation or on a ship.


oh... so this is what it means...

I must find something to do.

I can't possibly stay at home everytime I dismount. It's almost like wasting precious moments of my life. Other than usual routine (sleep, watch tv, sleep, play neopets, sleep, watch one piece anime, sleep, next day, go library, sleep, watch tv, sleep) , I have to find something meaningful to fill my empty life with. I cannot allow such things to taint my not-so-vibrant lifestyle.

Blame it on my social circle then. Everyone has their own social circle, where's mine?

I know I don't know how to make friends (for god sake, yes), which eventually made me a loner. I long for companionship, but I'm forever pessimisitic about making the first step.
When will I ever be able to amass the courage I need?
Will this term "self-confidence" elude me once again?

Inferiority Complex. when will you get out of my life?

It's teacher's day tomorrow.

How I wished I was back to being a student.

There is so much things I missed when I left...

studying hard for my As,
acting as ah beng in PLENS,
playing soccer at the rooftop,
revisiting many pioneer's open house,
literary contemplations at the cemetery,
sightseeing during Prem's chiang mai trip,
daydreaming during mr osman's geo lectures,
playing ghosts at art's society Haunted House,
the "so gothic" remedial sessions with mr koh,
paying attention to mr yeo's "complicated" jokes,
hearing mr kwek's famous "School, I'm troubled" craze,
making friendship with people of my Haven study group,
listening to mr barry singing during all the school activities,
reliving another life at kampong Buangkok...

so many memories, with new ones created everyday.
when will I ever get back to the life before ?
when will I ever get out of NS ?
when will I ever ord ?
when ?

No choice but to admit that I'm a very fainthearted person. 2 years of gothic class didn't really managed to convince myself that there is nothing to be afraid of. Most films are set to induced shock factors to instil a pre-notion of psychological fear for the supernatural. As a literature student with some experience in gothic sets and practices, I ought to have more courage in watching scary movies.

But that didn't help a lot when I watched a late night movie "ghost game" after supporting the band at the ngee ann city performance.

Anyway, the performance was quite good with quite a wide repertoire of pop songs as well as competition pieces. This is probably their third public performance for the year, and more coming soon. Saw many familiar faces there, ex-students, teachers, and also ex- members of the symphonic band (most from my batch). As an alumni, I will be present there, of course.

After the performance, we (me, yenting, eunice, yuanzhen and zhimin) felt that it was too early to go home, so ended up watching ghost game at cine. Yenting came back for her holidays before her summer school at Monash University (unfamiliar term) starts, so we were quite fortunate to see her around. Eunice is studying in NUS too (same uni). It's always good to have a lot of classmates in the same cca, because we can have a mini class outing at the same time.

Basically, I went numbed for the whole show. Despite eunice claiming to be the most timid one around, she managed to hold out till the end of the show. As for me, I was watching it half-heartedly, eating chips to curb my fright. But I ended up finishing the show with the rest. At least I didn't run out midway. lol.

Today is the band investiture and I was contemplating whether to go. It's been very long since I went back to Kranji. Somehow the school gave me quite a distanced feeling. But the warm welcome by the band juniors made me wanted to go back.

I must build up more courage next time round.

Yet another tiring day.

Nothing much to blog about, since I always talk about the same old stuff that happened in camp, countless of times. So I shall skip all the unnecessary details (shit, I almost forgot how to spell the word "unnecessary") this time round. Other than the fact that Mok had to leave abruptly due to some miscommunication for the driver course, everything else remains the same. It's quite a pity to have Mok leaving us for such a useless course at this time since he is going to ORD soon. Despite him joining us (me and "PC" Pang) after the GOH left, there seem to be some kinship build around this newly formed merah shift. This "unitedness" is much stronger, maybe because we don't see them as people from east, rather we are all under Shift 3. So there is no point not getting close.

Fortunately, we received a call from him that the course is a wrong one. So most likely we'll be having him back soon. After all, it's always sad to see someone you have grown accustomed to go. So it's quite a relief for all of us.

But I know someday, they will eventually leave merah.

This is something that cannot be prevented. So I shall spend the remaining times as a happy and united RP.

That's all for now. Time for some preparation for the performance I'll be going later. It's "back to school" day as I relive the past memories of my time in Kranji Symphonic Band. Anyway, their performance is at 8pm, ngee ann city today...

Some drastic changes has been made with regards to the duties in camp, meaning I will have less time in touch with the "very" civilised world outside. Or rather, less time with my neopets account.

Usually there isn't standby duties on weekends, but with the new implementations, I'll be spending much time rotting (finding things to do) in the very unaccessible east. Books are likely to accompany the times I will be there, probably. Looking for the book "Franny and Zooey" by J.D Salinger. Msg me if you have any whereabouts of the book.

Can't really think of much to write here, because my mind is completely blanked out after so many sessions of "differential discussions" with S about merah duties. Of course, priority is given to the SFI uncle incident. Relations are straining over here. I can't imagine how long I can survive still.

I need some nostalgic moments to remind me that it is still worthwhile to slog it out for the unit. I'm kinda losing it, soon...

A painful lesson learnt.

At long last, recovered from this traumatic experience with this stupid toothache of mine. What a long weekend this had been, nursing my health and battling the pain from fever and TOOTHache. Regular medications and involuntary ban on all kinds of non-soluble food had finally paid off.

These days, this stupid toothache of mine became quite serious. The doctor said it was due to the inflammation of the gums which led to bleeding, swollenness and fever. The first few days was the toughest to pass, when the pain was so excruciating that i couldn't even sleep and had to rely on painkillers to ease the pain. Living the days off with only medicine, congee and plain water may seem bland, but that is the only way. Mainly because I couldn't chew on anything that's harder than bread (which is quite saddening).

But that is all over. (glad to survive this ordeal)

Contemplated on why I had been falling sick so often (since there wasn't much things I could do other than to scream and hope for the pain to go). Must be due to the very "unhealthy" lifestyle, both in camp and at home. Not enough exercise and not balanced diet must have been the main culprit.

Now, I have sorted out my thoughts and to live a "healthier" life. I know there are a lot of people like me around, and I hope my experience can somehow affect them. It's time to lead a "better and more healthy lifestyle, for your family, friends and yourself."

(I'll probably forget about this and revert to my old junkie's life soon enough. But this effort shall remain to convince others. lol.)

Arghh...

Didn't realise it until today. I actually belong to the "low-income family" category. Little wonder the fact that my parents keep urging us to save up more money. Seems that my parents have depleted quite a huge sum of money trying to keep up with our current standard of living. Now we can no longer maintain it at the same level, it's about time to start reducing our expenses.

Hopefully the electricity bills doesn't escalate too much despite the rising oil prices (but i really doubt it). And everything is becoming so expensive, I ought to start to save up, even if it's a single cent. Who knows what might increase soon enough? toilet paper??

THE Spokesman : "With increasing depletion of natural resources like trees, there has been a hike in the price for raw material. As such in order to curb rising costs, we have no choice but to raise our prices to 10c each for of every roll of toilet paper."

lol.

p.s do give birth to more babies, this country needs your support. it also reduces the per capita of the family, so you also can join in the ranks of the "low income" group. and maybe become tax-exempted...

-got time go read this article I was a Singaporean by Molly Meek.

The funny article is back. After much speculation, "Bus fare and MRT to increase in OCT 06" is likely to happen. So why not laugh it off??

I am Ong Ah Bee living in Kampong Chai Chee
Life used to be simple and HAPPY
I worked hard in my STUDIES
I learned A-B-C, and everything from 1-2-3
Primary school was quite easy I passed PSLE.

Then I went to SECONDARY
The subjects include History, Geography,
Physics, Biology and CHEMISTRY
After O level I went to JC
I was quite LUCKY

This is a small humid tropical COUNTRY
Surrounded by unknown potential ENEMIES
Boys turned 18 must go to ARMY
After that we must continue our STUDIES
The girl can just sit back, relax and watch TV
They caome to this world only to "Chia Liao Bee"

No one lives on free meals or depends on CHARITY
I had no money to go to UNIVERSITY or POLY
So I went to work in a FACTORY
Trying to earn a little lousy SALARY
After CPF and INCOME TAX, I have just enough money to buy ROTI
and ride in MRT

Colleague at work used to be FRIENDLY
Always treat me to tea and COFFEE
Somehow they turn FISHY
Passing bad remarks about ME
Telling everybody I am LAZY.

My boss show me no SYMPATHY
Mumbling over my shoulder DAILY
"HURRY, HURRY and HURRY"
Accusing me of always trying to get MC
But my sickness was due to over stretch OT
Going home after midnight by TAXI
And they pay me only bus FEE

I park-tor and become steady
Finally had to MARRY
I lost money holding wedding dinner PARTY
Cheeky friends donating only cheap PANTY
After marriage, nothing was EASY

In one year, I become DADDY
I can't support my family and my BABY
Being tied down for life to repay HDB
And rising monthly utilities to PUB
My bank account has no MONEY
POSB balance is almost EMPTY
DBS wants to charge me EXTRA FEE
Insisting that "Nothing is FREE"

So I moonlight as KARANG GUNI
Many times I want to jump into the sea to MATI
But that is not EASY
My wife cried: "Who is going to support me and our BABY?"

I went to seek assistance from the MP
His reply was simple and easy
"Vote for me, vote for me, vote for me"
He never tell me his convincing POLICY
I was so angry and beat him hope that he MATI.
My dear friends, can you please help ONG Ah Bee.

taken from Sammyboy forum.

Spent the day reading through all the letters in my mailbox. Bills, newsletters and ads flooded every inch of the little space that i shared with the dozens of households in the block. This is probably how much junk mail one can expect after losing the only key to the box and fixing it a month later.

Let's see what are the kind of stuff we get daily. Bills from PUB urging you to pay up your outstanding electricity bills, reminders (or "red letters") threatening to cut your supplies if you don't, telephone bills from Singtel and Starhub, Town Council letters, school fees from Republic Poly (for my brother), HDB bills etc etc. This does not include the wide variety of printed ads ranging from real estate, tuitions, spa sessions, KFC coupons, Burger King's discounts, donations forms... The biggest occupants includes magazines and newletters from Pioneer, NSman, CDans, Woodlands Focus, Cohesion, Sembawang News and the ever-regular Court's "XX sale" booklets.

There's a fundamental difference between junk mails in the mailbox and my email. How I wished I could clear everything with just a click with my finger. Oh well, just my luck for losing my mailbox key...

Deleted the previous entry.

I decided not to disclose too much about my own life to those unseen viewers out there. Didn't want too many people to know what kind of problems I face, so that they will not view me differently because of my background. I just want to be like everyone else, to be ordinary. I shall remain an engima till then.

Everything in life moves in a cycle, there's a cause and an effect. If I feel depressed, this despondancy will result in more dejection, thereby making my short-lived life more miserable. This vicious cycle will forever continue until the day I can break out of it. As such, I decided to take things in my stride and see things positively. It's a tough job, considering that I'm a pessimist in nature. But I'll work things out, sooner or later.

Had a discussion with the rest about what we're going to do after NS. They can't really think of anything that I, as an FASS graduate will be able to do in the future other than a teacher. Even I myself have some problems imagining my future road. Is teaching the only way out?

Despite being a idealist, I guess that's the probable road down for me. Practicality and Idealism doesn't really mix in this world. Didn't really feel that teaching is the right career for me, but I can't find any other alternatives. I need some advice...

I shall put them aside for now. Too tired to think about these after the energy-consuming drill session. Got basic theory test tomorrow morning too, do wish me luck. Meeting the sec sch gang too for some belated birthday celebrations too. Will update soon...

"The Day When Everything Went Wrong" was the title of the essay my sis needed help in. I was kinda stuck at first, since it's been a long time I had a very strong inspiration to write creatively. But that day came eventually. Today.

I had this overwhelming inspiration to write a poem about this person in mind, whom i shall call S (lest it becomes too direct and create some embarrassment, but i'll provide hints). S is the perfect person for me to refer to as the "Computer Man". His life is programmed to the point of perfection, a flawless prototype of a new generation of "AI". Mutiple fine-tuning sessions completely removed all forms of blemishes within him, so he will only do anything that is mathematically installed. No arguments, no non-compliance with general order, no shortcuts, no time to slack, NO !!!

Enough of all these mindless ramblings. I shall stop before I explode and disintegrate into html codes.

Went for ippt this morning, only to find that all efforts gone to waste due to CAT1. Maybe I'm just not fated to pass this time. Sad coincidence that everytime I attempt, it will always rain. Tried to be optimistic but suffered another blow when we (andy and I) went to the canteen and nothing was left (maybe except for some plain eggs and leftover rice). What's worst is that I realised I'm out of cash (temporarily) and almost had no money to get home. Luckily I still had coins to tide through.

Everything in neopets went wrong too. Just didn't have the luck to get any freebies. Even my portfolio in the stock market fell significantly. Need to check back once again after I come back in 2 days time. Nothing seems to go in the right direction today.


Hey, I just got a free codestone from Tombola. At least something good happened before the day ended...

my 80th post and i decided to make it special (after all NDP is coming)...

"I am Singaporean, so say we all"

After spending the past 20 days involved in activities like sleeping in the day, doing duties and staying up late nights chasing the euphoria of the World Cup, it's finally over. It's about time to get some well-derserved rest from soccer, at least for now.

I'm still suffering from the aftershock from the finals. Totally dumbfounded by the actions of Zidane which eventually resulted in his send-off. This Zizou is not the one I know. What a way to end his international career with such an astonishing appearance.

Took some time off to visit mrbrown.com for yet another of his distinctive podcasts. Another startling news that I uncovered (or maybe I haven't been reading the news for some time). It so appears that mrbrown's column been sanctioned from TODAY after his article (which I found to be quite entertaining) Singaporeans are fed up with progress. wonder why?

What an insightful "documentation of the dysfunctional side of Singapore life".

Here's a little story i found from my bookshelves. Do spend time reading and ponder over it (while i come up with plans for activities that may prove worthy mentioning)...

Flying

Roger Dean Kiser

Once upon a time there was a little boy who was raised in a orphanage.

The little boy had always wished that he could fly like a bird. It was very difficult for him to understand why he could not fly. There were birds at the zoo that were much bigger than he, and they could fly.

"why can't I?" he thought. "Is there something wrong with me?" he wondered.

There was another little boy who was crippled. He had always wished that he could walk and run like other little boys and girls.

One day the little orphan boy who had wanted to fly like a bird ran away from the orphanage. He came upon a little boy who could not walk or run playing in the sandbox.

He ran over to the little boy and asked him if he had ever wanted to fly like a bird.

"No," said the little boy who could not walk or run. "But I have wondered what it would be like to walk and run like other boys and girls."

"That is very sad." said the little boy who wanted to fly. "Do you think we could be friends?" he said to the little boy in the sandbox.

"Sure." said the little boy.

The two little boys played for hours. They made sand castles and made really funny sounds with their mouths. Sounds which made them laugh real hard. Then the little boy's father came with a wheelchair to pick up his son. The little boy who had always wanted to fly ran over to the boy's father and whispered something into his ear.

"That would be OK, " said the man.

The little boy who had always wanted to fly like a bird ran over to his new friend and said, " You are my friend and I wish that there was something that I could do to make you walk and run like other little boys and girls. But I can't. But there is something I can do for you."

The little orphan turned around and told his new friend to slide up onto his back. He then began to run across the grass. Faster and faster he ran, carrying the little crippled boy on his back. Faster and harder he ran across the park. Harder and harder he made his legs travel. Soon the wind just whistled across the two little boys' faces.

The little boy's father began to cry as he watched his beautiful little crippled son flapping his arms up and down in the wind, all the while yelling at the top of his voice,

"I'M FLYING, DADDY. I'M FLYING!"

Annoyed. Irritated. Displeased. Exasperated. Infuriated. Crossed. Jaundiced. Offended. Troubled. Piqued.

These are probably the words to describe what i'm feeling right now. Extremely annoyed by the fact that i actually had to wait for more than an hour for the stupid bus to get back home, even though the sign wrote "off-peak waiting time approximately 20 mins".

Impatient I may be, this wait is somewhat unreasonable. This particular bus I have been waiting for appears to be a loop service, but the time it took to arrive from the opposite stop is so much longer. What's worst is the fact that the bus actually went off without stopping though I raised my hands out long before it reached the stop. Plain unlucky. Almost fell asleep waiting, like a beggar on the streets.

Killed my blogging mood for the day. Wanted so much to tell everyone how addicted to mahjong my family members are. This passion for mahjong lies in our genes. Afterall, the ones i played mahjong with are my grandma and younger cousins. The one with the most potential appears to be my younger niece, who is just 5 years old.

My cousins playing blackjack, my uncles scanning the 4D tickets, my aunts talking about soccer, my grandma playing mahjong. Ironic it is, because we often advocate "non-gambling" and here we are doing everything that goes against it.

Didn't have plans to do for the past one week and thus no new entries.

Soporific lifestyle remains the main theme for the month. Ever since the new standby schedule is up, there hasn't been much free time outside of camp for me to organise activities that may prove worthwhile. Most of the time is spent indoors, either sleeping or staring into blank space, contemplating.

These days i'm wondering whether to start something different, to embark on a new pursuit that could be interactive and intellectual. But somehow, i can't devise a hobby that could use up lots of time and effort, can be done indoors, improves a certain skills that i have. Or perhaps i already had something in mind, only fearful that i don't have the confidence to see it till the end.

Time is slowly ticking, and i better be decisive soon...

And it's the time of the year that everyone's waiting for, The World Cup (except for the occurence of the leap year which falls on the same schedule). 4 years of euphoria, disappointments, winning streaks and unexpected upsets is up for grabs once again. Will this year belong to Brazil once again? or will favourites, England, Germany, Argentina, Spain overturn the odds and triumph at the football's greatest stage?

Everyone awaits in anticipation.

Are there times when you felt a generation gap with your parents?

Well, I did.

It seems weird that there could be times like these that makes you feel as though you and your parents belong to dfifferent worlds. Usually I would be able to understand my parent's intentions in doing something, but i don't know what happened this time round. It wasn't a heated argument, merely a philosophical discussion of the alternative viewpoints to a problem. Sometimes i just don't know what's going on in their mind. It's either i'm too idealistic and immatured to know the complexities of this world, or their perspectives of ideas are too traditional and outdated. But i opt for the latter.

Looking at the arguments between my younger siblings and my parents made me wonder about this unsolved question. Most of the time, i tend to stay neutral and seek to understand the problem, and solutions came. Gradually, I began to formulate reasons why these problems occur. So much so that even my younger siblings say that i have a generation gap with them.

3 years age difference and there's a generation gap? Unlikely, but still possible.

Is it true that the generation gap occur because of differences in age? Or rather differences in ideology, culture, living environment, education etc. I want to know more, which means i need to have more "educational" interaction with my parents.

I'll see that it doesn't escalate out of control.

The consequences of overshopping has finally hit me, and quite hard this time round.

Despite exceeding the monthly budget, i was out again (with old pals, penghui and weelun) to orchard to see what it's like to shop during the GSS. Armed with only $10 in my wallet, i thought i would be safe from all the temptations all around me, but i was so wrong. The atm card was still "accidentally" left in my pocket. I should have expected this kind of situation and set up the proper defenses against this rising feeling of uncontrolled spurging, but i didn't.

No one to be blamed for this, it's all my fault. I was the very own transgressor of the boundaries i set for myself. I told myself umpteen times that i spent too much, and my "stingy" behaviour should have stopped me, but i didn't cared less.

Money gone just like that.

Little wonder my mother always say, "the money you earned in a year could be spend in just a day." How true.

I ought to curb myself from spending unneccessarily again. which means no more changi v for the next few weeks. My intuition tells me this will be yet another futile session, but nevertheless i hope it works.

And this time round, i'm leaving my atm card in my drawer, for good.

reading boon kian's entry on Love, Desire and Attachment, i ought have more control over impulsive buying, but it doesn't seem to work.

according to the entry, attachment never work for 4 reasons. (taken from boon kian's site)

1.The object of desire cannot sustain the present experience. It is ephemeral. We are actually after permanent happiness, which the object of craving cannot fulfil.
2. If we rely upon everything in accordance with our wishes, our merit declines, and soon our ability to enjoy other objects declines. E.g. becomes poorer and perhaps unable even to buy necessary items

3.The object is impermanent. It is constantly changing. When we develop desire for an object, we take a freeze frame of the object. We expect it to stay the same forever. We look for perfection in it and more often than not, it doesn't live up to the expectations we ourselves generated. We thus feel disappointed all the time.

4.The object is empty. All the good qualities we perceive of it does not come from the object itself but from our minds. We're fooled by its appearance and will not know that until we realise emptiness.

despite reading this article, i still couldn't resist the temptation and bought...Zen Vision:M from the PC show at suntec city. and it proves 1 thing, what you preach may not be what you practise...

i should reflect on my actions...

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

choonpeng--

[noun]:

An alien

xia will probably be laughing her heads off when she sees this. arghhh...

i'm so totally hooked on kingdom hearts 2 & sudoku.

it's either due to changes in the duty slots that i have more free time then before, or there seems to be a new craze going around in merah. everyone's seems to be totally engrossed with the kingdom hearts game that they can actually forgo our all-time favourite PS2 game, winning eleven 9.

other than this particular game, there is something else that made my day intellectually-fulfilling,the sudoku puzzle. it is such a good way to workout my semi-conscious brain as well as a good time waster. before you know it, almost half the day is gone trying to solve this sudoku puzzle.

but that's only in-camp activity. i still need to find stuff to do outside. haiz, the da vinc movie is out already and i haven't even watch it yet (so much for planning beforehand, now penghui couldn't watch it with me). anyone wanna watch it together?

"Mr Palomar thinks, imagining himself a bird.'It is only after you have come to know the surface of things,' he concludes, 'that you venture to seek what is underneath. But the surface is inexhaustible."
-From the terrace, Mr Palomar

found this fantastic book during a random search in the library while waiting for penghui last sun. titled Mr Palomar by Italo Calvino, this collection of short stories completely captured my utmost attention for this past week. the beauty of this book lies in its ability to bring across sophisticated themes with ease and clarity.

short stories like The blackbird's whistle, The contemplation of the stars, Serpents and skulls, The world looks at the world (just to name a few), brings across many expandable themes that allows existentially-starved people (like me) to have a very different approach to understanding more about ourselves and the world.

Daily experiences can be a very important factor in trying to formulate (or rather, to come up with) your own notion of your existence. after all, such "life" questions are often subjective. probing into existentialism appears to be quite futile, but there are times when i can be enlightened, bringing my mind closer to my heart.

the relationship between the self and the world is complex, and i'm dying to know more about it, even though what i learnt is just the "inexhaustible surface".

Crazy Peng and his "zai cai fan" crew is out to terrorize the town once again with their ever-contagious laughters and exaggerated actions. This time round, the team headed to Lot 1, where it's closer to home ( loyal fan popularity remains the highest)...

our first destination at our Lot 1 tour started out at the foodcourt on the 4th floor (near to the library). there, we had to fill up our hungry tummies (or is it just me?) to get all the energy we need for the latter performance at k-pool.

played pool to a 'live' audience is indeed much different then at marina because there was a large group of people around, and so gave more publicity to our group. lin's laughter remains the centre of attraction.

i don't know whether it's just pure luck or they were secretly training at home since their last defeat at marina (their first time playing pool), because their skills were exceptional. Maybe it's just me and zhiqin off-form because we can't seem to be able to hit the ball into the hole. Missed out a lot of chances which inevitably led to my final loss in the game to xia.

seems that xia's prophecy came true today. I really lost. arghhh, though i had to admit it. Luck appears not to be on my side (or perhaps xia got some supernatural influence coming from the next table?).lol.

took our favourite neoprints after that. this time round i'm transformed into another imaginary character (again). lin rebuked that only my face suits the 'old man' image (but i feel that i almost fit the bill for all kinds of extraordinary people). pics will be up soon on my friendster account.
(includes the photos taken at the merlion park the last time).

gtg. missed out on my 8-hours sleep schedule again... fatigued but enjoyable. need to meet up again soon (sentosa or zoo?)...

"Sea Soldiers" as they called it in the April's issue of Pioneer.

at last, these Regimental Policemen (RPs) in the naval bases can shake off their "poorly portrayed" image with the creation of a new identity, the Base Defence Squadron. Somehow, there are uncanny similarities between them and us (still called RPs) in our Field Defence Squadron, both in terms of our training and our job scope.

adapted from the Pioneer magazine (specially shortened for easy understanding),

The Regimental Policeman is one of those misunderstoond vocations. Sure it's not as physically challenging as other more 'glamorous' vocations, but it is nowhere as 'cushy' as some people feel.

For a start, it is a challenge to be awake, alert and all alone while the rest of the world is asleep, doing either sentry duty or 24-hour foot and mobile patrols...

It doesn't help that some people have an impression that RPs have an easy life (all they do is stand next to the scanners and metal detectors and check bags and passes, then they go home), which is not the real case.

Combat-fit RPs double as base defenders, trained to protect key installations by setting up fortifications like wire obstacles and gun emplacements, and are proficient in handling and firing various weapons and operational skills - just like any other soldier.

After all, the typical RP's 6 weeks session is nowhere comparable to our 3 mth fdc. what we learn during the course followed by the 3 weeks on-job-training (OJT) is constantly tested out in various tests and exercises, some even weekly. So it is saddening to hear from people that RPs are slack. What we do may be different from other units, but that does not neccessarily meant that our standards are comparatively lower. It is just that we adhere to different sets of rules.

Our counterparts in the navy can now correct this deeply-rooted misconception (as well as getting the additional $150 pay), when will it be our turn in the air force?

the most tumultuous period of all times...

somehow this new mathematical formula managed to prove itself to be logical...

1 day book out= 24 hours
24 hours = 10am to 10am next day.

but...
late book out at 1200hrs= -2 hours.
early book in at 0700 hrs= -3 hours.
no bus before 7am= night before book 0000 hrs= -7 hours.
time travelled to and fro from camp= -3 hours.
total time wasted= -2 + -3+ -7+ -3= -15hours.

therefore...
1 day book out= 24 hrs -15hrs= 9hours.
(so what's the difference between 1 day off and time off?)

that's not all...
too much to be taken into account that i guess this is probably the only time when a illogical idea becomes a logical one.


so much changes to the system till i've lost total confidence in the upper management... no more comments for all this kind of stupid arrangement...

mostly likely to stay in camp almost everyday (as of this moment)... let's see... missing out on so much things because of this... haiz... no mood for any post also...


fav. quote of the month
"This is the final detailing. No changes will be entertained. Pls do not come and look for me"-PC

laughing at how idiotic i look... i'm a maths genius... lol...

it's out finally....

the fishbone that is stuck in my throat for the last 72 hrs.

treatment list
10 dosage of fast-flowing drinking water.
10 dosage of hard-to-swallow cooked rice.
3 dosage of SFI fried chicken.
2 dosage of chocolate muffins, sandwich and other night snacks...
verdict: unsuccessful.

01 x dosage of chicken fantastic meal (upsized)
01 x unexpected scary bill + insulted as "money sucker" from delievery man
verdict: successful.

so the chicken fantastic meal does have it's own use...hehe...

my stomach hurts from all that laughing yesterday at the Merlion Park (is it the name of that place?) but that's not that important. what's far more important is that we attracted quite a lot of unneccessary attention from our rather "exaggerated" photo shots.

conducted a small gathering at town with the usual permanent members of the "za cai fan" (promptly set up unofficially as of yesterday night)... xia the lead singer, lin the pianist, zhiqin the drummer, and me the guitarist (though none of us had the slighest idea of the instruments we were playing). lol...

seems like the effects of the television is far-reaching and deeply etched in us. got crazy with shots depicting scenes from da chang jing, famous superstars and the more recent superband. perhaps it's the reason why we attracted so much attention (or it was lin's unstoppable laughter?).

did quite a lot of walking and eating too. indecisive in nature, we couldn't decide on where to go for lunch. apparently stuck due to the overwhelming numbers of restaurants there at MS that we ended up at a place least expected (the food court at sc). arghhh. 2 hours of deep thought and this is all we could come up with. it appears that we need to do more street surveying very soon.

lin claimed to be cheated of her money when she bought something that wasn't really that mouth-drooling (but the sizzling lamb teppanyanki was). that was the start of the makan tour that fetches us all the way to.... ....
(xia: what's the name of the place we eat the hokkien mee, carrot cake and chay kueh tiao?)

but nevertheless the food there was much better and brought up the atmosphere for the latter programmes.

oops... missed out on the hilarious pool session. just had to blog this down cause it is so funny to see newbies playing pool. can't imagine all the things they did. lol... wanted to take photos (photos again? of course) but the staff didn't allowed us to do so. even wanted xia to delete away all the photos taken. what a let-down... but we did enjoyed ourselves there. more options opened to us for our future meet-ups...

by the time we are totally done with all the photo-taking session, most of us were totally drained... that's about all (a book-out day well-spent).

Time really flies.

Today marks the end of the road for the shift 3 merah guys. They will soon be off for their Guard-of-Honor drill training from the next mount onwards, leaving only the (quite pathetic) crew of mr. pang and me. New ppl from east will soon be joining us but i (seriously) doubt we will have the kind of "telepathy" as before. Just hope that the rest of the days will be smooth sailing. I'm sick and tired of working the 2-10 slot again. As of next week, everything gonna change significantly...

Had our final steamboat at our second home on fri. i could still remember vividly the first steamboat we had. that time we were still new to the crew. could still imagine cpl. waikeong forcing us to fall in together with our bowls filled with food and eating it though our stomachs were extremely bloated. those were the fun times then...

Today also marks the day of promotion to corporal too. finally get the highest pay we can get throughout our ns lives ($510). Though it wasn't much compared to sgts and officers, but that's the best we can go. 10 mths more to ord. can't wait....

Was out at cwp with penguin and wl... all of us were bored at hm, but we didn't do anything much cause they had to book in soon. went library as usual but i can't seem to find any more enthusiam in reading (someone complained that i studied too much , but i wish to re-emphaize that reading does not equate to studying, though it is usually misinterpretated)...

Saw jingmin on the way back. probably the first time i see her in real person. though we were both from pjc, i only know her through wholivesnearyou.com. sounds a bit pathetic, but i realise that's one of the ways i get to make friends...see whether can meet up again soon (since she just live a street away, if not then she wouldn't be found in wholivesnearyou )...

Came to realise that i have quite a lot of offs and leaves which i cannot clear until the GOH came back. was planning to make full use of it to do something different (like going overseas), but can't seem to find ppl to go with. maybe i have a strict criteria for making friends, which is probably the reason why i have that few "good" friends. sort of envious of ppl who can keep going overseas with friends... haiz...will anyone take pity on me and ask me out?

Going crazy at the 3-1 army life...arghhh....

busy learning magic tricks...

whew... luckily zhiyang finally won the css com... our whole merah was apparently going crazy by the fact that renfred is leading in terms of calls when we were watching it...

looking forward now to superband... the star search continues...
(troubled over which show to follow-up on... "so u think u can dance" or "superband" ? )

fdc nightmare is back...

can't believe that i've slacken so much that i can't even tahan the "choo" ippt training like old times... maybe really too long never exercise le (after all it is quite difficult to resist the temptation from "merah shopping centre" and changi v) but somehow still cannot grow fat despite the consistent effort...

*muscles aching all over my body*

so probably skipping the swim later... off with dotA-ing (once again, as usual).

feels kinda weird that i haven't been writing for so long... makes me realli wonder whether my life is indeed that meaningless. but did something different today so just wanna type it here...

our PC going to go off to shift 2 le... a bit sad though cos he is realli one of the best PCs left around (veri easy to get offs from him). his replacement seems to be one of the new PCs that just passed out from ocs, probably from our batch one ba. dunno wat they are like but i can guess there cannot be compared with our current one...

as such, today is also our last standby together as a shift (though most of the GOHs were not present) but nevertheless we quite enjoyed our time at sentosa. playing soccer and seeing at things we all enjoy seeing. but in the end most ppl all smoke out halfway, so can feel that our PC was a bit disappointed. dunno how come these ppl like that also. our PC did so much for us but they can't even like sense it lor... haiz...

went play pool after that cos there wasn't many ppl left and nuthin much to do also. school day ba. left siloso beach in the mid afternoon and went slack around, eating minced meat noodles for a stall in a shopping centre in doby ghaut (can't remember the shop name but the noodles quite good sia)... most of the ppl playing pool all pro. must have been gaining quite a lot of experience point from playing billards. so in the end kenna thrashed like nobody business. too noob le ba...

that's about all for now... going swimming soon... it's back to camp day tmr... hurray (in a veri dispirited mood)...

is it true that people will change?

been feeling that the people around me have started to change... or is it just me? that my view of ppl have become much more critical and realistic? i dunno...

it is becoming quite a hassle to think of things to write for the blog le. can't pinpoint the apparent reason for this change of attitude too... maybe becos i'm quite sick and tired to repeating the same old monotonous and endless cycle of watching vcds in camp to sleeping during standbys to slacking and rotting at home when i dismount.

need some fun and thrill in my life... after all i finally understood that my youth is being drained away slowly, bit by bit from the army lifestyle... gonna find more things to do before i rot to death from both physical slacking and also mental degrading...

as such, i doubt there will be less recent posts here. probably write when i have an inspiration to write or when i do something that is less "routine". however will still be visiting this blog often to check on the "almost dead" tagboard. which is another reason why i find this blogging more and more of a "cycle" too. arghhh...

somehow i have this bad feeling that my english is de-proving at a accelerating rate... need to read up more books again... classical greek mythology here i come...

date. 120306
time. 2100hrs
goal. met my target of 1,000,000 nps from the neopian stock market...
mood. extremely joyful...


went monkey-feeding at upp thomson just now... those sneaky fellas stole all the bananas from us... lol.

finally back from camp... sometimes i do really wish that there was enough ppl to share the burden of all the extra duty slots... super shacked by the fact that i spent more than half the time on duty (approximately 30++hrs for the past 2 days...) gonna faint soon i guess... arghhh help needed over here...

went back to camp immediately after meeting with xia, lin, zq and edwin for lin's belated birthday celebration (kinda late though, but still there is an effort made) a big pity that mild is overseas for internship? i dun really noe... but all i noe is that i was almost late to report back to camp cos there was a traffic jam at changi v there...

anyway, we went for some buffet at cineleisure, wasn't really sure wat's the name of that shop (is it yuki yaki or yaki yuki?)... but we had quite a lot of fun there playing with ice cream on wad i called the cold plate (duh)... pardon me but i'm sort of a mountain tortoise so i dun really noe wad that thingy really is... gave her the present (9-1 hair styling set) and a pretty white daisy (fresh from the fridge)... and xia, if u got see this, that is not ur idea totally k? i also got help to choose the flower ok? lol...

went back to camp and did my duty straightaway since there was really not enough ppl and we need to train the new ASLCs... tough time for us... so most of us were pretty fatigued in the end... some more the next day the rest need to go for drill practice... shift 4 wasn't there to help cos they were out doing marshalling that morning... they more worst than us cos, that time after we took over, their vehicle broke down halfway and couldn't return back to camp till 12 plus midnight and then they had to do their job at 7 the next morning...

yesterday the ASLCs finally completed their OJT... so we were quite happy (most of them proved to be promising new specs)... lol... evil plans up my sleeves when they come to merah the next time...

that's all for now... need to rush to boon lay to meet wl to go to the ntu open house... maybe meet some old classmates there also...

back from HOOTERS for our FDS anniversary... didn't expect much fun and activity from all these army events (wanted veri to smoke out from this thingy halfway but couldn't)...
located in clarke quay, this shophouse looks like the typical English pubs all along the s'pore river... eat quite a lot since it's all part of the buffet... so ended staying till the whole lucky draw is over and CO allowed us all to leave...

veri tired today sia... not enough sleep for the past few days le... cos busy doing extra duties as well as training the new batch of specs for OJT... tmr need to book in at night cos of shortage of ppl... so gonna sleep soon...

(pls note. the post below will be extremely wad i called to be extremely "kimcheng". do spend some time to ponder over it)

"It is easy to forget that it was dreams that led you to where you are now" - Bill Beham

seems like i'm at this crossroad of my life journey once again. wasn't very sure whether the path that is laid out in front of me is the one i'm destined to follow. or perhaps i dun even wan to follow wad was supposedly laid out (dictated by others). i wan to create my own path, though it may be an ardous travel, it may prove to be much more fruitful and meaningful. but again, i'm quite scared to take that first step cos i noe, this veri first step is perhaps the most difficult of all.

it is easy to wan to forget all my lofty ambitions and dreams and not have the courage to step out into the unkown territories for the world ahead is a dark, dark place (though i wish to cheat myself that it is all part of my childish fairytale world). there are always thoughts of giving up and remain in that comfort zone which i have found familiarity, solace and confidence. but another part always wishes to venture more, to know more about anything and everything.

i'm veri confused now. which is the "correct" path that i should be heading towards?

perhaps i need more time to think it over again (maybe 1 year is indeed not enough...)

many thoughts are running in my head, arghh... philosophical stuff exploding inside my mind... maybe i can go write a thesis for it... lol (have this tingling feeling this pathetic joke of mine is not calming me down at all)

movie marathon at merah yesterdae. was quite bored in camp since there wasn't anything new for us to do then. so went out to rent some vcds to watch and accidentally spent the next 12 hours watching a whole pile of movies. started about 12 in the afternoon and sat in front of the tv, totally focused on the movie marathon.

most of the movies were quite waad i called "cheapo" movies, meaning that it isn't quite worthwhile spending the money and also time (though we had plenty of it then)... mixture of korean and english films... started with a local film about some vietnamese bride issue, then followed by the korean film "marrying the mafia", "flightplan", "volcano high", "S diary", "Curse of lola"and finally "the heirloom"... cheapo shows (we calculated it to be 80c per movie per pax). lol...

lin's birthday is tmr, but somehow there doesn't seem to be any plans for celebration...haiz...

went on a "national education" tour for standby today (maybe another form of instilling patrioism for the country). went around to see some of the historical monuments left after the world war 2. spend most of our time at kranji (wanted to go back from there but pc don't allow). saw the kranji war memorial once again (hmm... just how many times have i been to that place already i can't seem to remember). saw the tombstones once again.

somehow it reminded me of the "on the trail of the vanished song" literature trip in j2. so much in common (especially going to the bukit chandu to see our history). went almost to the same places, though the lit trip provided to be more insightful and more heartfelt inspirations. this again links to this once neglected topic of "the existence of my old blog"... kinda forgot wad it was like?

somehow that old blog captures my most vivid memories of my time in jc. wonder y i deleted it away the other time. haiz... can't realli remember much about the times at the haven study grp. been a long time since we gathered once again back to pj and cheong studies and play soccer at the rooftop. lol... memories are sweet afterall...

gtg le. need some help with the warcraft thingy, somehow cannot play dota one lor. haiz...

countdown: 4 more days to somebody's 21st...
14 more days to "Jewel in the Palace" on channel u....

back from slumberland... dunno y but somehow i have this veri bad feeling that i've been suffering from insonmia nowadays. can't really sleep at night. can't pinpoint the cause of all this. maybe i'm under some stress or wad i can't really confirm... but still kinda sleepy after all the sleep in camp...

watchin tv the past few days in camp cos we can't really find something else to do... after all no one is in the mood for merah sports day due to AA. there's plenty of movies to watch on channel 5 too during this weekend, so we all ended up getting chairs to sit in front of the tv watching "sweet november" and "evolution"...

p.s got my frozen throne le... can finally start playing dota at home le... hurray...

just realised that this is in fact my 50th post since this blog began... 50 may not be much to some, but quite a big achievement for someone who is extremely bad at writing. so this calls for a celebration... anyone for a outing? kinda forgot wad's the feeling of being outside of home and camp le ba...

not much happenings these few days... quite a hectic schedule in camp due to the recent AA event that is up near our camp (AA= Asian Aerospace). more things to do during our duty slots due to the increase in security level because of this event. most probably be staying home to catch some sleep before going back camp tmr. some more the GOH ppl all going out for drill training so extremely tough schedule for the rest of us...

off playing neopets (my only source of entertainment at hm)... going for a swim later, anyone interested? update again soon ( i hope)...

got my recruit haircut from the barber downstairs... kinda miss this kind of botak feeling. so refreshing sia... gonna be a short post for now since my com is kinda lagging cos of a unknown virus inside which i can't seem to get rid of... still trying hard to download some free anti virus software to counter all the spyware, trojans and virus in my com...

today's standby again a waste of time (though not as bad as the last time)... learnt quite a lot from sgt chin about gym training (after all he's a guardsman)... heard him tok about his extraordinary story which is a bit exaggerating ba... but in the end i still believed him ( so is this wad we call being naive?)... going to start my own physical training soon (for the sake of the money for the ippt). so i guess tough times going to up soon...

went played soccer for standby after that then can go home... so today is just another meaningless day ba...

like veri long never type a new post le... got lots of new experience being tried out the last few days. the most significant shd be going to MOS for the first time (first time go cheong with the merah ppl). was supposedly a merah outing though not everyone went cos it was like 10 plus at nite. decided to go with the rest there cos i didn't really wanted to go back home immediately after the stupid squadron nite thing (which was a huge kelong anyway cos teh winner for the singing com can't even sing btw). so went with the rest to club (first time and most probably the last time)...

gt quite a lot of ppl go ba (me, kao, weiyong, edwin, goh, daniel, xiaolongnu, spec, mg and gerald). was quite a bit impressed by the furnishing of the place though, veri classy and yet trendy i guess... the music was great, got lots of different sections where they play different kinds of music... since it was like last wed, it was wat the rest called "mambo nite" there was quite a crowd there. quite enjoyed myself there, but the after effects was quite great. my ears been ringing for from the damage from the loud music. but that's the kind of place it ought to be ba. dunno drink how much alcohol also cos i kept losing in the games... so in the end the told me i was actually quite high (though i dun have the faintest memory of wad i did there)...

wouldn't be going there for the time being ba... but indeed was an eye opener there... oops gtg le... going for some dinner at my uncle house... update again soon...

was on a feasting trip to tiong baru just now... saw the tiong baru temporary market for the first time (the one the tv always show got good food one). eat lots of stuff there with my bro after he delievered his bears to his customers. almost emptied out pockets trying out the different food available to us there. the food was veri much fantastic. so much better than the hawker centre food i usually eat. hope to go there some time again soon. still missing out on a lot more different kind there...

spend yesterdae nite doing some homework for my sis. did something interesting cos the homework is supposedly to change the lyrics of some song. changed the lyrics of jay's hei se mao yi into something a bit dumb. called "bai se yu yi". first attempt at song writing. so quite a good experience.

got my warcraft cd from penghui today too... all i need now is the frozen throne expansion then can start to play dota at home le. tot my com will lag from it, but i was wrong. everything was quite smooth sailing. original cd is guess is much better ba.

signing off soon... going to try to play the game first. booking in tmr le. v-day stuck in camp again...

went back to see how taekwondo training was like yesterdae nite. realised that it has indeed changed a lot since our time. too long never go back le ba, cos some how everything seem much foreign and unfamiliar. maybe excepts for the senior black belts, the rest are probably newcomers whom i have never seen before. saw yizhuang and my bro at tkd training at the cc... veri much wanted to join them but somehow dun have the same passion and enthusiam for it anymore. dunno the reason for it, maybe cos too long never train le (since i stopped in j2). the training no longer as tough as older times too. could be due to the large no. of small kids. (parents complain about everything lor). as yizhuang said, this is maybe the reason why even our chua-sir also seems uninterested to train us with tough training anymore.

saw nsy at cwp too after tkd session. never see her for like ages (since she stopped training when i was still in sec sch i think)... the legend hasn't been back after she gotten green ba... was quite an experience to just sit down there and tok about our old times at k-squad. haiz... really miss it a lot...

cocked up day today... currently spending my time alone at tampines library ( all the rest of the merah ppl fly kite on me cos i'm the only one who is not inside Guard-of-Honor) shit... if i knew it, i shouldn't have chosen to reject joining... haiz, it's retribution i guess, now all pangseh me. left me alone to rot at this library, waiting for time to pass so that i can go back for standby.didn't wan to stay in flight just now, so came out, only to realise here also got nothin to do...

the CO parade just ended, veri stupid parade i guess, all the things CO said was bad news, not a single good new lor... even tell us "there will be a lot of changes to improve on the proficiency of our RPs... the changes will be quite significant, but i do hope you all will be quick to adapt and take it with an open heart"... shit sia, confirm die this time liao. 2 more weeks then the GOH all pull out le... then that time only left me and teck to mount merah (maybe we also post out to some other alien shift)... everything is turning for the worse. haiz... should have joined the GOH lor. seems that i really regret my decision now.

later going back to base for standby. learning some fire-fighting stuff... stupid thing cos we're all wearing our no. 3 for the parade just now. no time to change or wad shit. haiz. the only merah guy going for standby. go there also confirm never listen to the lesson one. maybe pay attention to the fire extingusher stuff only.

p.s just now late for drill, name kenna taken down by OC and kenna scolded by RSM (though i was the earliest of the late-comers, but nevertheless still late) . this time round confirm is sign extra liao... just a matter of how many only...

the pjc open house was ok... not really that bad, but not veri good either... it's just ok... as an ex student, i dun really find it veri (and i mean veri) interesting. wasn't veri hype up (enthusiastic) like previous years... maybe except for the mass dance (of course). other than that, there wasn't much things for us to do... unless u call the sch tour an event. fancy asking an ex student to follow in the tour around the school... lol. (followed the tour for the sake of winning the free mountain bike in the lucky draw, but ended up cannot cos we can't show our ic to them if we win as it's the army one).

but saw lots of familiar faces back in sch, seems like most of my kranji band juniors all go join pjc lor. had a shock when i saw so many ppl there. maybe they all planned one lor. great to see most cos i haven't been in contact since i left the sch. saw most ppl still stuck in band. always tot they would be sick of it after 4 years in sec sch, guess i was wrong. let's see who i met there... gt ying siew, bing qin, shan shan, jason, amos. seems like only baoxin not in band only... basketball frends also quite a lot there also... the twins, john joseph and minshun all there also (student councillors some more)...

saw teachers also. too bad missed out on mr koh. saw him a lot of times but he always disappeared before i could reach him... seems to be that the teachers are still the same... missed out on my geo teachers also. haiz... maybe next time go back see them again ba.

saw peijun for the first time at the open house also... dunno whether she can recognise me or not...

going back to camp tmr le... hope someone faster msg me to go out, if not then rot at home le...

extremely bored today... been lying in bed for the last 3 hours trying to fall asleep but somehow i can't... maybe cos i slept too long le ba (been sleeping since 11pm yesterdae till now, abt 12 hrs of sleep). now waiting for 1pm before i make my way to cck to see the pjc open house. almost a year never go back le, wonder how much change there is, cos heard news that a lot teachers are gone le. maybe see if there is still anything i can still recognize or remember when i get back to sch again...

went out with section 2 ppl yesterdae... mainly me, andy, zzc and sm (since they are basically the only ones free since there are not from shift 3). haven seen sm for realli long, since he kenna posted out the last time... great time playing dota at bugis (though i newbie and kenna deaths like nobody's business like that)... went watch movie after that, the jet lee's "fearless". not a bad movie, the actions were cool, somehow made me wan to resume back my tkd training which i stopped since i was enlisted.... went out with my bro for his market research again at cwp after that cos i took his keys and he can't go home... so ended up walking around cwp looking for valentine's day gifts...

come to think of that, this year valentine day is confirmed spend alone again cos that day is duty day again. so stuck in camp once again. haiz... doesn't really matter much since i'll be at home that day even if i got no duty lor... no life... oops gtg le, off to cck for a game of pool before i go to the open house...

wanted to type this post yesterdae nite but gt too many ppl at my house (the com is rite in the middle of the living room) so a bit paiseh to be typing it in front of so many relatives...

3 more days for me to slack at home before i report back to camp again (currently anxious to find things to do and ppl to hang out with) seems to me that once sch starts, there will be little free time for the rest, so kenna sort of confine at home (voluntary confinement). but realli damned bored for now... looking forward to going out with baoloon later (he's the only one left who is either not in sch, or work, or still not recruited by the army)...

lots of relatives came yesterdae nite... so busy cleaning up the mess now since there is no one else at home... always tot yesterdae nite would be steamboat again, but my mum ended cooking all the food... the best is still wad i call "home-cooked shark fin" sia... gt the standard. lots of fun yesterdae watching some tv shows on channel 8... too bad my house gt no mahjong set. if not will end up like last time at my relative house, going home at midnight again...


just did a test called "What Age do you act?"

You Are 20 Years Old

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

What Age Do You Act?

whew... always tot i wasn't really behaving like wad i ought to behave at my age. looks like i'm still normal after all...

happy chinese new year everyone... maybe the year of the dog be filled with lots of happiness and prosperity to all...

went straight for visits at my relatives' house after i book out for camp. quite a fruitful day cos i earned lots of ang paos (i guess it's kinda bad to be so practical) but i guess that's wad we call the benefits of being unmarried ba. still can collect a few more years of extra income before anything happens (like ended up marrying at a tender young age)... lol...

had steamboat these couple of days... the most interesting and unforgettable is of course the merah steamboat (a tradition that has beem there since ages ago?) still remember vividly the last steamboat we had that time. almost ate until our stomachs blew up that time. so this time round we bought less food (after all there is only 8 ppl eating cos daniel att C at the last moment)... dunno wad boon teck they all bought also... they claimed the most expensive food is actually eggs lor (worth $2 the most ba)... tot surely gt not enough food that we almost rationed it (each person entitled to 2 hotdog, 2 crabstick, 500ml of soft drinks, a bit stupid also)... but ended up with more food again... though not as much as the last time, so i guess it's not waste of food ba...

today basically the same. went to meet some relatives that we only visit once a year... first time see my long-lost cousins of the extended family. hmm... didn't know there were actually nieces of my age group sia...always tot the family full of sons one...veri surprised. but too shy to go tok to them also... maybe next year can see them again ba... hopefully that time got more guts le lor...

kk... got to end le... happy chinese new year everyone...

extremely exhausting day today... it is the family tradition to help out at my mum's shop during every cny period (except last year when i was out working at ntuc). this year is no different, hard work and lack of sleep accompany most of us. after staying awake looking after the shop yesterdae nite, i pretty fatigued. but still have to post this before i go catch some sleep and wake up later to help out at the shop again...

super busy time of the year at my mum's shop... a good sign of the celebrative mood at the neighbourhood... but somehow this year is not that "in the mood" like previous years... still remembered when i was young, there used to be lots of celebrations at my neighbourhood. somehow these are missing the last couple of years... dunno y also... but nevertheless it's still the occassion for celebrations...

cny eve and cny will be spent in camp (as predicted)... wonder wad activities will be installed this year? not a single clue... maybe except for the steamboat dinner in camp ba (the usual merah tradition).most likely end up watching more movies or tv ba...

finally finished watching the whole series of "Jewel in the palace" aka "Da Chang Jing"... fabulous show... after chionging the series for so many mounts, it's finally over and done with... this show is seemingly addictive (seems like i dun mind watching it over again)... really gives a good view of korean history... i guess that's all for now... time to get some sleep again... happy chinese new year to all...

seems like the flu virus is quite rampant nowadays... a lot of ppl around me has fallen sick (including me)... been having these flu-like symptoms for a few days le, with no sign of recovering... now typing this post in a semi-conscious state (feeling veri giddy rite now) so i guess i'll keep this veri short... maybe see doc later to get att C ba... then can skip duty for tmr... for now, i'll just pop a few pandadol and go sleep again... see ya for now...

p.s: yuting if u see this post (which i doubt so, but just in case)... happy 17th birthday... may all ur wishes come true... do remember to come online soon...

back frm my grandma house... did something which i found to be extremely interesting to me - cooking... since my grandma was a bit sick , i decided to take this chance to learn and gather some cooking experience (maybe going to read up more cookery books soon enough)... realise that cook is such a fun and practical skill, after the veri bad experience in home econs in sec2, this is perhaps the first time i touched the wok again... a big step forward for me sia... (veri soon can start to ask penghui to sign up for cooking class together)...

received a mail from nus yesterdae... seems that the letter shd be here long time but dunno how cum it was delayed... haiz... reminded me of the impt decision again le... shd i still remain in nus fass or change course leh? still veri much hestitant and undecided... some how been thinking if i stay in fass, i'll still be troubled as to which course to take (after all don't really feel that teaching is athe right career for me) for practical reasons, maybe changing course would be better... but change to wad? maybe go take up comms studies in ntu or take up business in nus...haiz... after the failed attempt for the USP last year... i remain undecisive... still gt 2 more mths to go before applications start... guess i have to start thinking about it over again...

btw... also received a mail from mindef regarding credits to take up new courses... went to check on the net for the choices available, only to realise the credits given can only allow me to sign up for only 1... so maybe i might use it to learn a new conversational language (most likely to be French)... so now waiting for the credits to come so that i can apply for it... i guess i'll be having a tight learning schedule for 2006...

kinda miss home for now (after being stuck in camp for the past one week all because of the stupid confinement given by my oc...) cannot really blame him totally also cos it is partially my fault (so maybe i do deserve that 02 x confinement given to me).... cos i never really check properly wad the contractor wrote on the key press book and countersigned it... haiz... but the fault is a bit retarded also... kenna confined just because i never check that the contractor never write clearly on the book (he just scribbled something in it)...

the security audit is still on... the admin part of it is over and i guess our merah side kenna a lot of trouble because of the books sia... maybe that's why oc and rsm like so irritated and gave our spec a very bad scolding (which in turn affects us also)... but haiz... wad's done is already done, cannot undo anything also... hope that the punishments will be more lenient...

going to sleep soon... veri long never stay at home le... so maybe later go visit my grandma house...bye for now...

today standby is practically a waste of time... haiz... make me travel so far then in the end never do anything... basically the whole day just go there and wait for 2pm for the run then can book out le... waste my money going to and fro from camp.... today almost like rain the whole day again, so stuck at hm slacking...

yesterdae was payday so decided to go buy some clothes for CNY (though i'll most likely be stuck in camp on those days... so suay again) but dun care also, just wanted to do something outside home... wanted to just stay at cwp (trying to save some transport fee) but ended up going to jp (after much persuasion from penghui)... went around looking for clothes (while he go take a peek at some pj girl he met through some connections).... dunno spend like how long at jp cos he wanted to wait for the girl to send her home after work... so in the end me, my bro and weelun went off, only to see him in the mrt train mins later... haiz... waste our time lor...

went to cwp and bought some shirts at U2 ( the one we have seen for veri long but got no money to buy that time)... by then i guess quite late le so ended up going back hm (cos have to book in for the stupid standby) other than that, i guess that's all... now waiting to book in tmr for the security audit (die liao cos not enough ppl, so maybe going to recall some ppl back lor)...

wad is wrong with the weather these few days sia... keep on raining non-stop le lor... can't even see clear skies these days lor (cannot even go out lor)... haiz... managed to take leave yesterdae, hoping to go out but the weather not on my side, keep on raining cats and dogs, so ended up at home playing hitman again... a bit sick of it le cos cannot clear the mission lor... keep on stuck at the same level...

sianz sia... wanted to do something creative again yesterdae, so decided to upgrade on the collage i did a few weeks ago... but not really impressed by my sudden surge of inspiration... am i really losing my artistic self le ma? cannot really answer also...

some how i started thinking about the goals for the year again, wonder how many of it can be achieved? today seems like a thinking session again le lor... cos stuck at home also boring lor... haiz... today payday but got no place to spend... starting to fall sick soon... can sense the flu virus invading inside me le... so time for me to go, it's about time to start planning for another storyline le (but have to finish the 3 books of "Hu bian you ke xu yuan shu" first)...

just came back frm camp again... haiz... supposed to type this post yesterdae but ended up delaying this cos i kenna recalled back to cam this morning... haiz...seems that the camp got some trouble again... this time went back cos got some stupid fellow go and gate-crash our camp... in the end have to report back to camp to do some leftover clean-up... had to search through the entire camp for dunno wad thing also (just making sure that fellow doesn't leave anything behind ba)

it's still the "Da Chang Jing" serial craze again back at merah... decided to chiong through more of the vcds... it's quite good and exciting... maybe that's y i'm like starting to get addicted to it... no wonder always got so many ppl go watch korean serials... other than that not much thing le...
going to chiong through more of the vcds (secretly brought some of them back to watch with family)...be back soon...

just came back frm bbq at terence's house...couldn't really sleep so decided to blog...the bbq was great... had quite a shock cos got more ppl turned up then wad i expected... but then the same old gang were there too (as expected) but there were others like amanda, brenden and kenneth whom i haven see for such a long long time...

hmm... as usual with the 03SD ppl, we played the most fav game, mahjong... some how all of us are like mahjong freaks... craving for more everytime we met for bbq lor... the only drawback today was the heavy rain, which caused us to stop our barbecueing for quite a long period (we played mahjong of course during this period...) but ended up eating not much... esp me cos i was on such a high mood (partially from the alcohol and from the consecutive wins in mahjong)....

but the most surprising is still meeting amanda once again, didn't really believe wad qijun said at first, but i guess she really changed a lot after her stay in the US... wonder if going overseas make u like more foreign with the rest le ma? but still glad i'm able to see her b4 she leaves again this fri (which i'll be in camp most likely)... but after that, i think i had a great time there (with all the entertainment provided by some ppl we met at the bbq)... lol, yong dai kenna "sian" by "chiobu" lor...hehe...

it's 2006, a brand new year (that started with quite a sad note) cos i kenna scolded for trying to "smoke" my OC... but nevertheless it's a new start to everything... a bit wasted to be stuck in camp for the new year eve again (same like during xmas eve)... and again as usual there will be our veri little mini-celebrations at our little home,merah...

contrary to wad we did during xmas eve, the guys decided to order food again... and not mac this time round, but kfc... but still there is something in common... we overbought the food again... ended up with too much leftover chicken.... arghhh... play the same stupid game where the forfeit would be to eat all the leftover food... and again someone had to become the junkie again (but not me cos i slept early)...

started the new year watching a veri veri long tv serial... it's the korean serial "Da Chang Jing" it's a good show sia... all of us like watch all the way in the early morning until like late night until we almost ended up wanting to cheong marathon until we dismount lor... now like lacking in sleep... going to sleep for a while soon... cos meeting the JI ppl later for the BBQ... long time never see they all le lor... after our last meet-up like half a year ago... amanda's back too so i guess i'll be seeing her soon (haven see her since she left for overseas)... gtg for now...

feeling wobbly all over... must be getting sick le ba... legs like got no energy to move like that lor... too tired to do anything else (but somehow not having fever lor)... can't really remember how long i slept yesterdae (suffering from fatigue) cos of the veri veri unexpected standby in camp... dunno how many ppl kenna recalled back to camp just because of some stupid accident... then come back le then tell us got nothing can go back lor (wat the **).... in the end (due to veri severe miscommunication) we had our leave cancelled and stayed for standby at AETI... but then go there do nothing also (except for the OC and CO talk) and do the endless vehicle check training (repeatedly) for the last half a year... haiz... too tired to say anymore le la... gtg le... time to rest and eat medicine le...

just came back from a family BBQ at some unknown location (one of the many factories around in the kranji industrial park)... seems like today is the first time i had to type so many posts to tell about the events for the past few days (since i only got chance to use the com once every 2 days)

pretty tired i guess, after so many days of celebrations, guess xmas is comin to end soon too... though there is 12 days and this is just the 1st day only... but i guess everydae there will always be a different experience as compared to others...

long time never really go out with my family memebers le, so this BBQ proves to come in handy at the right moment... had a great time barbecueing all the chicken wings (though i not veri pro in it, but still can eat i hope)... but the best was still mahjong... playing with the pro (my aunts) is veri different when playing with friends lor... but nevertheless had a great time (cos really too long never play le lor)... gtg le... time to sleep early so that i'll be up early tmr morning for something else...

for yesterdae's event at merah...

hmm... booked in at merah, only to realised that i had to spend this year xmas eve with those on duty... the 7 of us had quite a day in camp... since i was asleep most of the time in the morning and afternoon (after the much hectic day at xia's house), i didn't really know wat the activities the rest were up to...

when i woke up, realise that they decided to order pizzas for celebrations... they actually ordered 4 large pizzas when there is just 7 of us (me, kao, daniel, jeremy,boon teck, the long-lost eddie and also our spec kevin)... there is just too much pizzas for us to finish that we ended playing games to finish off the rest of the food as forfeit... forgot how much i ate, but almost puked lor...

waited for the BDO and BOS to leave before we can really begin our celebrations... the BDO (though i really dun wan to comment on him) but he is really ****ed... dunno wat's his name also cos really make our day irritated (almost spoilt the mood for the day)... but i guess he can be good friends with our "beloved" BOS staff mel...

since i was the one on duty during the countdown, i was in charge of waking everyone up... wanted to press the turnout bell (so convenient lor) but i didn't wan to get a veri special xmas present... then Sgt Zai wei called us... thought he wanted to give extra le lor ( couldn't recognize the voice, thought it was PC lor)... but then everything ended up well, quite peacefully...

forgotten to post this when i wrote it on 23 dec...

wad a tiring day, but still managed to sneak out some time rite now to type this post from xia house... finally, after much planning, everything is set and in order (though not exactly that perfect yet)... but nevertheless still acceptable (since there is more ppl coming than expected)... write a short one before i go join the rest to play the forfeit game ( dunno drink up how many cups of those unusual mixture le lor)

these few days been slightly busy and confusing since the conference call between xia, mild and lin yesterdae nite... thought the whole thing will screw up in the end, but the eventual result is quite unexpected (really)... never really expected that more than half the class came...

things we did today...
firstly, me and mild met up at 1600hrs to buy tons of stuff (decorations, food and most impt instant noodles...)
then, waited under mild's house and saw the two cats she told me about
went to xia house to decorate the whole place (pardon for the childish deco, the best out of the worse situation le)
lin came and prepared the snacks... and wait for the rest to arrive...
the rest came... and we started the activities (hmm... can't remember wad i did le lor)
dunno since went we started playing the poker game (dun really know wat the name is but it's very fun, esp. with forfeits of course)
then came the pizza deliveries...
then ended up playing the spilling game (forgot who drank the most in the end lor)
watched vcds throughout the nite... "SAW" and "50 first dates"
before i knew it, it was time to pack up and get ready to book in le... haiz... quite a bad way to end the day...

i guess that's about all... maybe forgot some stuff too (somehow i realise i always seem to have very short term memory...)
merry xmas eve to all :)

whew... been a pretty busy weekend this week, lots of things to do (finally got time to sit down and relax while typing my post rite here at orchard library)... now like waiting for 2030hrs so that i can pass the birthday present to my sergeant before i go back home to rest... did quite a lot of stuff for today ba (technically speaking)...

wasted my thursday going back to camp for the contingency drills lor, cos RSM decided in the last min to clear his leave on that day, so i ended doing not much stuff on that day (except for the rountine duty work)...

fri is much more free, cos penghui was out most of the time in the day (cos his birthday) then i only had chance to meet him to go do something we neglected for a long time (swimming)... didn't really a lot cos we ended up talking about the hitman game (about trying to clear the mission lor)... then met weelun to celebrate penghui 19th birthday... went to play pool at cwp (again) to look for "yang cheng ling" but she wasn't there... wasted...at night went to watch out for meteor showers (informed by my bro in the last min) waited for 2 hrs then could see one...

today even a more busy day cos i met xia and mildred at such a early time slot... i guess the three of us are too tired cos we ended up in a stoning stage... we actually could waste 1.5hrs trying to decide on wat to eat for lunch before we finally got into Ajisen... spend almost 2 hrs eating and talking before we went to take neoprints (planning to do something special with it)... to much surprise we could think of wat to do after that and we ended up in Ya Kun eating toasted bread and chit-chat again... suddenly came to this idea of the xmas sleepover at xia's house on the 23rd... did a lot crazy planning for it, and decided to change location to mac... then there something shocking happened...

we were at mac discussing about the sequence of event for that day when suddenly out of nowhere, an unanticipated thunderstorm crashed towards us... all the drinks and fries flew off the table and the huge tentage next door collapse... the whole place like kenna tsunami like that lor (had a huge shock)... quickly went to seek shelter and see the aftermath of the storm... somehow we managed to escape (slightly drenched) before i went off to find penghui here at this orchard library...

tmr is another busy day (i guess) since i have towake up early to go my grandma's house to help paint the place... so i think the day will be over very soon ba... now looking forward to 23rd for the xmas party (since i'm the planner i'll have lots of things to do this week)...

haiz... thought could enjoy a long break from the army when i start clearing my leave this week, but in the end everythin had to be postponed (to an unconfirmed date)... and why is this so? cos the rsm decided to conduct some vul. test on thurs to prepare us for the security audit that's coming up (unknown date too)...as such, have to come back to do all the contingency drills again...

i think i'm having a writer's block now... can't really think of wad to write for now... been looking through some of my friends blog... then discover got so many photos taken inside... so i uploaded them in my friendster account lor... these photos a bit old ba, but reminds me of many fond memories back in sch... how i wish i could ord the very next min sa...

spend quite some time playing a very old game that i used to play online... neopets is quite a childish game some would say but still very interesting... cos i'm still waiting for penghui to pass me the hit man game... by then i guess i'll have more stuff to do back home again ba... now i guess i'll end here... do some fine-tuning to my blog lor...

couldn't find anything better to do these few days, so decided to stay at home and read books lor... my room got lots of books that i have read repeatedly yet i was never bored by them (dunno why also, good books will never be boring ba)... currently reading a collection of poetry by one of the singaporean poet... one of my A level lit text lor... so can u guess which is it? it's Another Place by Boey (used to calling by his surname)...

still remember all the hard work i put in when i first touched this book during lit class sia... used to think that this is an extremely tough book to understand, but as i read it more, the more it became clearer to me, and the more i grew to like this book... touched on a lot of stuff that still continues to "haunt" me even though i left it on the shelf a year ago... all the themes on existentialism and the singapore pysche, purpose of art...blah blah (words i learnt during lit class re-projecting itself inside my mind now) dunno whether this book got that huge impact on the rest of my classmates or not... so long never see them le... the last time got class gathering but couldn't attend cos something cropped up at the last min so cannot book out that day lor... haiz..

suddenly feel like writing another AP essay (been a long time since i write one le)... dunno why also, maybe army life forces me to reminisce about all these old stuff... maybe if i read more on the impactful poems, i might be inspired to write a new poem again... lol... maybe...

slacking at home abit sian also, like cannot find things to do (still waiting for boon teck to lend me his warcraft game to play)... reading and listening to music sounds like a good combination ba... exp when i'm reading this another place and also listening to corrinne may's songs can bring about more inspiration... more food for thought... gtg le... i can sense a surge of creativity arising...(doing a new collage as decoration in my room later)

bk out again le... finally resume back to the usual schedule... oc promised us a 4 mounting schedule no standby for all the hard work during COC and easthawk so got more time to slack at home and catch some sleep lor... also the time to plan more activities for the day offs to enjoy life...lol

the COC parade is not bad, except for the GOH fall out ba... wad the, GOH standing in the first row fainting lor... so much for being Guard of Honor... guess the rehersal before that is too exhausting le lor... haiz... if not for it, maybe the parade would be better ba (not perfect of course) cos the marching is still not the ultimate zai yet...

must start planning activites for the next 3 weeks le lor... the christmas festival is coming soon again... but too bad the eve cannot book out... clearing leave for the year also, so i guess got even more time to slack... can catch up with the old pals again... neglected them for some time le ba... maybe go swimming also ( need to tan off the sunburnt marks on my neck)... maybe organise mahjong session also ( xia if u see this u'll be overjoyed i guess)... lol

the lesson plan for next year...
- learn driving (top prority)
- brush up on my english (maybe go for speech therapy)
- read more books on pyschology, anthropology
- save up more money for uni sch fees
- meet up with long-forgotten friends
- learn a new language (French? Jap?)
- travel around singapore to look for food (a bit meaningless lor)
- gather more inspiration to start writing another script, short story?
- reflect on my life over the last year...
- others still under consideration...