Inspired by boon kian's way of looking back at 2006 and did my own.

Jan - The month of watching "Da Chang Jin" and
steamboats.

Feb - Back to school, visiting old friends and
learning sites. First encounter with mos.

Mar - Army lifestyle took over completely.

Apr - More "Superstar" responsibilities after being
promoted to Corporal. Zai Cai Fan crew was born.

May -Sudoku, Kingdom Hearts & Mr Palomar accompanied me through the days.

Jun - Opposing thoughts of Saving and Spending
throughout the world cup season.

July - A month of contemplation and non-political
ideology. I am Singaporean, so say we all.

Aug - Good old memories with good music from the Kss band.

Sept - Sensitive September for the emotionally
vulnerable me.

Oct - Haze and health preventive measures
encouraged more indoor activities.

Nov - Change in my life. Braces and Doulos
changed how i viewed myself, physically and mentally.

Dec - Depression came to an end with the arrival of
the new year. Bonne Annee!

Happy 2007.

First of all, Merry Xmas to everyone !

Didn't had the chance to immerse myself in the spirit of christmas eve because my dad & sis was sick, and spent the night counting down in front of the com at home. Apologies to penghui for not being able to keep up the yearly tradition of celebrating the arrival of christmas in town. No fear, there's still the new year countdown in the days ahead. Hopefully nothing goes wrong then.

Christmas is a special day for me to meet up again with the haven study group pals, friends that accompanied me during my jc years. Though not everyone was present, seeing old friends do bring back the precious memories. It was great to be at "madamoiselle jessie" place because it is like the haven we once had back in school. The place where we used to study hard for our 'A's, played soccer, ate vegetarian meals, talked about the prata man, visit forbidden areas in school, discussed about our lives and philosophy etc...

It's a refuge for us where we can get together and relax, without any boundaries and restrictions. It's a place we can truly be ourselves.

Lots of fun and laughter in the true spirit of celebration.

Merry Xmas once again and enjoy yourself these 12 days.

specially for xia, depression is only temporary. think positive and everyday will be like christmas. Merry xmas.

If only everyday was like yesterday...

Really missed meeting up with my sec sch pals, going places where I've never been too, trying out different experiences. Like what penghui said, " nothing beats having good friends". How true. Quite a pity we didn't have a chance to go bowling. But there will be a next time.

Special thanks to xia for helping me choose the xmas present. I owe you one. It's quite a suitable gift for mildred. Anyway, I'm still trying to find combinations with the lego set I got yesterday. Creativity rules.

Trying to catch some sleep for now. After mambo at zouk for gerald's birthday (first experience with "long island tea"), I almost fell into the sleep trap during the changi anniversary. Anyway, we went play Lan with the most popular merah game (for now), Company of Heros is indeed addictive. Met up with za cai fan crew for bowling but scrapped the event in the end. Sentosa probably the next time round?

Or Mahjong? Lol.

New braces colour for today. A new xmas theme comes with the typical red and green. Even the dentist said it's the most popular colour for now. Next in line shall be red and orange.

Time for some afternoon nap for now. It's French time later with eddie and andy.

au revoir.

I've sorted out my thinking.

There is really no point making my own life miserable, feeling so depressed over such army-related stuff. So what If I'm being recalled almost every mount, getting my leave and off eaten up, having to face so many people I don't wish to face? After all the end is nearing soon.

I shouldn't be looking back at how my life had been like in the past. Instead, I ought to be looking forward to the new phase of my life, and starting preparing for this change. It's time I find something constructive to learn these few months while awaiting for the day I can truly regain my freedom.

A new me shall be re-born soon.

I'm losing interest in life.

Recent events reassured the fact that I'm dying a metaphorical death, I can't feel what it is like to feel again. It's almost as though there is this huge wall in front of me, I cannot see what is on the other side.

Even anticipation is torture.

I'm stuck as to how to convey this upwelling of emotions inside, blogging doesn't seem to help to curb this whirlpool of thoughts and emotions. Or should I say, it's not even thoughts or feelings, I can't pinpoint what it is... I'm entrapped within my own hell.

All the usual activities I do can no longer make me feel anything. Neopets, books, fm or even tv can help evoke any enthusiasm or even the attitude to look forward to life. I feel like staying at home and sleep all day long.

I can't keep up with the fake front anymore.

Life sucks to the core.




-in the state of depression, please do not disturb-

I am the weakest link among those who stayed behind at Josh's house yesterday, who ended up sleeping first while the rest carried on with their drinking game.

Headed down to Brewerkz yesterday for the first merah outing outside of camp. This place has quite a good ambience with quite a large collection of alcohol (the first time I saw such a wide variety). It was an interesting experience seeing how each other tried to make spec drink as much as possible.

Josh's room is like a dreamhouse. It's almost like seeing the kind of cosmopolitian decor you see on tv in real life. His collection of alcohol is even more shocking, much more than the big tv, the xbox 360, the stylish speakers, the electric guitar... Made me want to work hard and have a house like his.

My alcohol tolerance sucks. Knocked out quite early and missed all the fun. Now I'm covered with rashes.

Just like spec always say, " this is so off-form lo!"

Type 7 - Enthusiast, Optimist, Dreamer, Idealist, Visionary

Type 7 has great power of imagination and a positive attitude. This person is lively, creative, charming, enthusing, convincing, adventurous, self assured and good at networking. He can get well with most people and has broad interests.

His attention is directed more towards positive future possibilities than to the here and now. Those possibilities do not have to be realised; thinking about them is often sufficient enough. Execution means making choices, and is therefore limiting. New ideas and concepts are attractive. Possibilities are more interesting than actual work.

Painful incidents are repudiated; problems reasoned away. Type 7 can react to feedback with excuses and avoidance, but also with assurances that all will be well in the future, without him having any idea how he is going to achieve it.

Basic motivation is avoiding fear and pain by imagining and seeking pleasant possibilities. Attention goes automatically to what is positive, and interesting possibilities for the future. Experiences are more important than results....blah blah blah...

Adapted from Enneagram at Work - Hannah Nathans

Sorry for the lack of updates for the past one week. Been living like a hermit these days, staying at home without any contact with the outside world. So bored with life.



Desperately trying to curb my addiction for computer games. Arghh... My uncontrollable hand is clicking on FM2007 again. No....

Doulos - Bringing Knowledge, Help and Hope.

Built in 1914, it is the world's oldest passenger liner still sailing, and making its presence felt in Singapore over at Vivocity till 24 Nov.

Visited this floating book fair and was quite surprised at the large collection of christian books available. An expected large crowd was present despite being a weekday. Not really interested in the wide array of books there and went for the ship tour instead.

Unity in Diversity (a GP topic in jc) came acrossed my mind when I saw how people of different nationalities and cultures learn to adapt and accommodate each other because of a common faith. A desire to learn and spread the love of God to the world. Was quite impressed with the jobs they did, and the living conditions. There are 350 people from 50 over countries with their own library, school, canteen, fire station, laundry area, hospital etc.

"You don't speak about religion. You are an expression of it." -Umberto Scapagnini, Mayor of Catania, Italy.

I realised the power of faith today.


p.s obsession with blue eyes...

It's so boring to be stuck at home.

Can't find anything fascinating to engage in these days. Almost going to complete this entire series of One Piece anime, so about time I look for something else. Anyone know of any anime that is funny to recommend? I'm trying to cultivate some humour into my life.

Trying to stock up more books at home to kill time, and hopefully gain some worldly wisdom from it. This book I got this time has quite a interesting concept but I can't really understand it. My mind been rusty ever since I enlisted. I ought to do more reading and IQ tests to sharpen my observation skills.

Anyone have an idea about how Enneagram works? This book "The Enneagram at Work" is just too complicated despite it being written in simple sentences. I must have been living in the "army" world for too long. My english is like mixed rojak now. Arghh...

Time to head for the "new" world ahead, the "civilian" world.

p.s for now I shall use the internet to find out what this Enneagram is all about.

It's time to welcome a fresh start into my life.

For the first time in my life, I finally decided on something I always wanted to do, braces. This time round I got one in sparkling orange. Heard from the doctor that mildred told him to get me bright pink. Lol. Anyway I'm glad I did something which I wouldn't regret.

Saving up enough money for this was a long, ardous journey. Had to save all the way from the day I enlisted till now, skipping sumptuous meals, forgoing outings etc. Now I have to start saving all over again. This time round for university fees.

After all, I can only depend on myself financially.

Gerald seemed to have told the whole world about my blog. Arghh... Maybe I'll have to change my address soon. I wouldn't be able to find out who all these silent readers are. So it might be better to change to avoid detection, especially from S. I can"t imagine what will happen if he finds it out one day.

Calculated the amount of mounts left. It's 12 more working days. For once, I beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

ORD lo.

On leave again.

Waited for so long for penghui to return from Thailand so that I can watch my Deathnote movie. Not a bad one, considering the fact that L looks almost like a duplicate from the comics. There is quite a few changes which I can find room for improvement though. But it is still good, Especially the ending with L eating the potato chips. I'm totally impressed by it.

These days were spent eating different food from places in Bedok. Yesterday night was one of the rare days that the merah people could come out to eat. There was an underlying reason why we (me, boon teck, andy and spec) were at Bedok at such a late night which I should just keep to myself. Anyway, I ate a lot ranging from the famous bak chor mee, stingray, pork porridge and oyster omelette of Bedok 85. Most people living in the east knows about this market.

This is probably the last time I can get to enjoy such sumptuous food before I go for my dental appointment later which will be seeing me extracting 4 tooths. I'll most likely to be screaming in pain soon.

Arghhh... I'm finally going to put on braces.

Oops, we did it again.

We forgot about our previous incident with over-buying and ended up with tons of excessive food for the steamboat once more. Plates of golden mushrooms, hotdogs, cabbage and porkballs flooded the rubbish bin as we scrambled to save as much as possible but stuffing them into our stomachs. There is indeed a limit as to how much we can eat.

It was quite a lively occassion (I supposed). This is the 3rd time we had a steamboat in camp but the people attending is always diferent. I shall not make a comparison as to which is better. Nevertheless, it's another experience worth remembering.

This is the first time I felt my book-out time was limited.

I used to look forward to going back to camp in the past, mainly because I can get to play winning eleven, something that I can never do at home. But this enthusiasm in booking in fades quickly, especially when I have to face people who doesn't give me a good impression.

Decided to keep myself occupied these days.

Went for kelvin's 21st birthday yesterday with the usual pals, xia, zhiqin, delon and mild (whom just came back from Cambodia). It is heart-warming to see people celebrating their birthdays with the treasured few, families and friends. It must have been quite a feat to organise a birthday party. The food was great, but the atmosphere was the main attraction. How should I celebrate my own 21st birthday?

Meet up with long-neglected pals vincent and baoloon (brothers from pj) and spent the day at Vivo city, a place which I find quite confusing to navigate. Had such a hard time looking for the cinema in the heavy crowd. Watched the movie The Departed, which I feel the chinese version to be more appealing and exciting. But nevertheless a good movie which tested Leonardo's acting.

Bought earpieces for the zen neon. Finally can listen to the mp3 on the bus journey.

Will update again soon. Going to do some preparations for the steamboat in camp tomorrow. Followed by another trip down to Zouk with vincent and baoloon again on wed. It's Mambo Night...

S is up to his usual paranoid mood once again.

"Please wait while I use the searchlight to search for dust to clear, it's for your own good."
"Please exercise once every mount, I want you all to run & do PT, it's for your own good."
"Please bath at least once a day every mount, it's for your own good."
"Please wash your hands before and after you eat, it's for your own good."
"Please bath before 12 midnight everyday, it's for your own good."
"Please do your area cleaning properly, it's for your own good."
"Please go and exercise more, it's for your own good."
"Please don't give me attitude, its' for your own good."
"Please do this, please do that, it's all for your own good."
"Please follow my instructions completely, it's for your own good."

Is this overly "Regimental" or it is he is just to overly serious with regards to "Safety" ? He is more naggy than my mom (for godsake). It's getting on my nerves. How am I supposed to face him for the next 114 days?

The haze been pretty bad these days. Visibility is so poor that I can't even see causeway point from my house, let alone make a trip to the library through this thick "fog".

Health concerns like respiratory problems and conjunctivitis (commonly known as sore eyes) totally killed the mood to step out of the house. I wouldn't want to fall victim to this haze that has engulfed almost every part of the country. 2 more days before I can get back to camp to retrieve my N95 mask (though it is unlikely that I will wear it).

Very much wanted to do some research into the dreams I had, but realised that the very book I had been reading (Freud's The Interpretation of Dreams) had already been returned and there is no available reading left at home. Something tells me that these dreams are prophetic in nature (or am I reading too much into it?)

Perhaps I might just make a trip down to the library later in the evening when the PSI falls...

I must have been hallucinating alot these days.

So many things had happened during my short stay over at my grandma's house while I took another break from camp. I don't know whether these incidents are real or they are just another one of those super-realistic dreams.

I remembered the first incident the most vividly, mainly because it had something to do with some traumatic fear for the army. I could still imagine myself dismounting from camp, feeling glad that I'm taking leave for the next mount. I opened the mailbox, and there was a letter addressed to me from mindef. I could barely remember the words written inside, but the word "blogging" appeared quite a few times. I guess it has got something to do with some incidents regarding the government's stand in enforcing regulations on soldiers exposing too much of the army operations.

Something written in the letter must have been the cause, for I can still recount the shock I had after reading it. Tried to decipher what might be the likely cause, and came up with this most logical statement.

I supposed this may probably be a letter of warning to me for discussing too much information about my unit on my blog. This could even be a letter of charge for leaking confidential information.

It really scared me. I was so dumb-struck that I imagine myself reading through my entire blog archives and deleting any posts regarding my camp, with priorities in removing articles with the words "army", "airforce", "navy". Then I woke up.

Nowadays I try to avoid talking about things I did in camp. You'll never know when my dreams will come true (ironic isn't it?). I wouldn't want to be charged for something I don't know, and they are definitely not going to extend my service...

Another one of those rare event-packed days.

Swimming was the first activity of our itinerary. Unlike other days where I would go swim alone, penghui was present ths time round. With some companionship, we ended up spending more time soaking ourselves in the water, chit chatting as always, rather than swim laps.

Made a trip down to the old interchange near to the causeway, a place where I used to visit often when I followed my parents on their delievery trips. Penghui will be away for his overseas stint tomorrow, he had to change his currency to thai baht. Despite numerous money changing outlets there (which we thought we might have a better rate since it's a monopolistic competitive area), most of them did not have that currency. Wonder why?

Playing pool was another item off the list while we await for time to past for the sushi buffet. Not much practice caused my consecutive defeats to penghui, whose form is exceptional today. Ended up playing for an hour before we left for some sightseeing at Lot 1.

The next 3 hours was competitive eating, as we tried to outdo each other in eating the most number of plates. He tried to chiong through his first 10 plates within the first 15 mins while I ate leisurely at my own pace. It was a draw at the end.

There is no other way to end a day without heading for the library@ woodlands. Of course, this time round we were not there to read, chit-chat or walk around, but sat down at the music section listening to j-pop and read design magazines.

He will be off tomorrow night. Have a safe journey and meet for "Death-Note" movie next next week.

Everytime I logged in for a update of my life, I get stuck. Pondering over what programmes I had, activities I did, friends I met doesn't seems to appeal very much to me. Especially when you can't even remember the things you did the day before.

So when I finally have time to blog, the thoughts and feelings of each particular event of my life fades, leaving only vague memories.

These thoughts are an important part of a life which I never knew I had. I don't want to lose it anymore...

Taking a break from work and camp.

Been having difficulties adapting to my new working environment in camp, be it changes in our PC, our new shift, our "familiar yet distanced" spec, our new mates from sembawang. Everything is back to being square one, and I can't accept this foreign intrusion.

Gone are the days back in camp. I never doubted that this day will arrive eventually, that someday everything and everyone will return back to where they came from and I'll have to start all over agin. But I didn't expect it to end like this.

Probably going to serve the remaining days without any anticipation of the future, like a body without a soul. Unless there can be something that I can look forward to.

Wouldn't be back to camp until next tue, so I'm looking around for activities to do these days, so I'll be extremely free till then.

Spent a few days at my grandma's house, with the usual programmes like playing mahjong with my six-year old niece, watching pokemon vcds (pardon this childishness, I can't find anything else), reading the entire series of Death-note comics (in preparation for the upcoming movie) as well as going swimming.

People often complained that I think too much, which I guess it's a cancerian trait. Somehow I can't remember a time when my mind is completely empty. That is what I'm setting out to achieve. I have to convince myself umpteen times that there is no point thinking too much, sometimes its better to just go with the flow.

This shall be my target for now.

To keep my mind calm and open. (perhaps it can cure this insomanic in me)

Been a long time since I wrote such a lengthy post. keep the inspirations flowing in. For now, I'll be off reading Freud's Interpretation of Dreams. Hopefully I can be happily asleep and dream a fantastic dream...